FSOG strange days
by deaconlost
Summary: Thanks for the suggestions on where to lead this plot line: The first meeting of AS&CG. just a flyt of imagination while reading two other FSOG stories. AS and CG meet when CG is most vulnerable. The family's exam the choices they made to arrive here. I hope this starts to close the open-end chp1 left. story just bounced in my head.
1. Chapter 1 FATE'S INTERVENTION

FSOG

Strange day

 **GOD! DAMM IT! that bitch Eliana!** How dare she talk to me like I'm still her submissive! Telling me to take back Susannah or else; I ended her contract close to six months ago. The last straw when Welch played the audio tape of her reporting to Eliana. Telling everything we did in my playroom. Everything she heard about my business. Today was the first time I've talked to her since I blew up about her betrayal.

Her bullshit excuses about needing the information to fine tune my profile for Submissive. That didn't explain the business info she demanded, or her sudden bumps in her bank accounts. I had Taylor work his black-art magic. She was selling insider information, at least two fail mergers. Millions and millions of dollars, she coasts me.

Then today cornering me at my mother thank-you luncheon to the volunteers and staff of Coping Together. Before today I've never hit a woman. She grabbed my arm to prevent me leaving.

 **"LET GO OF ME!"**

" **I MADE YOU!"** She snarls at me. looking all Dom and in charge. "Submit, this bullshit you're a Dom done. You will always be my pet. **SUBMIT NOW!** "

Is she mental, in public? I jerk my arm away. She slaps me. **SLAPS ME:** all I see is me in the mirror in her torture room, the cane failing my ass and legs. The bitter pain in my eyes. the unhinged face of my tormentor. It flashes back and forth between her and the pimp. I have not moved one inch in my life from his laughter, burn flesh as he puffs she cigarette too now.

I snap awake as she slides into the potted plant. My arm hung out. the tingling of impact on my hand. I am stunned? I hit a woman? Is she a woman or a demon? I see her stunned face, the redness on her cheek. The morphing of her face and his. I feel Jason pulling me back. I see my mothers shocked face. I heave a deep breath. I am done with her and this lifestyle. I can't believe I let her into my life and control me.

I turn, leaving my restaurant the Mile-High Club. I glare down Taylor as I sit in my Audi Spider. I drive away, not caring where. I am a float with out sail or fuel. Rudderless in this ocean of life. I drive till the gas tank blinks empty. I tank up and head back to Grey House, checking my watch it's not yet two-thirty. I have that damm interview at three. Damm all these pushy women in my life. Damm them all.

The radio blares some sixties classic; it strangely fits my world today. I sing along

 _They're going to destroy_  
 _Our casual joys_  
 _We shall go on playing_  
 _Or find a new town_

 _Strange eyes fill strange rooms_  
 _Voices will signal their tired end_  
 _The hostess is grinning_  
 _Her guests sleep from sinning_  
 _Hear me talk of sin_  
 _And you know this is it_

 _Strange days have found us_  
 _And through their strange hours_  
 _We linger alone_  
 _Bodies confused_  
 _Memories misused_  
 _As we run from the day_  
 _To a strange night of stone_ " **"** **Strange Days" by the Doors**

Strange days indeed. The light is green, damm the light is green. And traffic is stiff. The arthritic rust bucket in front of me, should have been junked decades ago. Is creeping down the road, it takes nearly half a block to get up to fifteen miles an hour. The brown hair mop of the driver is dancing to music I don't doubt. I should blow my horn? But with traffic and parking there's not place to pass her sorrowful rusted, smoking VW ass.

The light turns red, just before Grey house. I see a big SUV charge from its parking space across the intersection. It bulls thru cross traffic and cross over to be in front of me. O" SHIT! Its going to hit her;

I throw the drive in neutral and stiffen for the impact. The impact goes in slow motion. I see the mop of brown, push against the door to bail out. the crunch of metal. The explosion of glass. The jarring impact to the spider. The VW hits and wedges up over the hood. Sparing it being shrunk to a suitcase. I feel the airbags deploy. Red mist hangs with the talcum power white. I shake my head. I see the brown mop hanging from her car, held by a seat-belt. I here sounds I can't understand. I get out of my wrecked car a move to her. It's strangely ethereal, the pull to her. I touch her hair, Aphrodite's is streaked in red. I see glass cuts to her brow. I hold her, releasing the seat belt. Taking her weigh, I turn to someone next to me.

Jason is firing a machine gun, screaming at me. I can't hear words or anything. I turn to where he is shooting. I see the wrecked SUV men are shooting at us. US? I feel an hand on my chest, blue eyes look at me, thru me. possessing me. she smiles and my cold stone heart breaks and beats for the first time.

"Duck." She says in a sweet voice, I don't hear anything, as I squat and duck walk to the rear of the spider, Sawyer sporting a bleeding shoulder, pulls us behind our SUV, which Jason and him followed me from. I look at my hands around her. She is smiling at me; blue eyes crush the world from us. I lean down and kiss her lips, sweet lips. She cups my check. I sit a just fade away to us, just us.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

John Tate-pov

I'm walking down the street arguing with my current girlfriend, a dizzy blonde in Grey house. She just dumped me; spouting nonsense about having a track to GREY. Like a billionaire guy looking like him, with money to burn would take her skank ass. I've been in Grey house, all those Stepford blonde's; the guy must have a thing for them. I have to get back to work at Schuster & Marlon. I see the SUV charge cross the intersection. I shoot video, weirdly the SUV crosses lanes and runs head on into an ancient VW Bug. Driving it into a chain reaction crash. It's wheel smoke as it tries to drive even further into the wreckage.

The doors pop open and four men with guns jump out and fire. I sweep to the wreckage. The VW is on top of a once sexy sports car. A SUV behind it is open I see two guys shooting back. WOW! I stand on the sidewalk across the street filming. Everyone else is ducking and running away. This is the McGruder film of Seattle. I could buy a house with the money this will bring.

Whoa! What the shit? A copper headed guys with bloody face gets out of the Sports car. He walks thru the bullets to the VW. I didn't notice the driver was hanging out the driver's door. Her brown hair frames a bloody face. He takes her in his arms. I can't hear what is said.

One of the guys behind him charges forward. Shooting I see two of the four are down. He's screaming at the copper headed guy. He is looking only at the girl.

Suddenly he ducks down and moves behind the sports car, the other guy back there, blond drags them behind the SUV. I see one gunman on the sidewalk, shooting at the SUV. he disappears behind the SUV.

I watch as he flays back into view. Going down on the sidewalk. I bet he's dead. The last gunman turns and runs. The big guy shooting at him, aims coldly and puts him on the ground. I watch as the wounded gunman tries to crawl away.

I see a Grey house Security guard charge over and disarm him. I pan back, the Copper headed guy with girl in arms walks thru the intersection. I see them enter Grey House. I look at my phone, the video shows four minutes have elapsed. I stop filming and call the firms PR guy, he can get me a good deal for the film.

I just get him on the line when I hear "That was 'the Christian Grey'" "Paul, John Tate. I just recorded the attempted assassination of Christian Grey, yea man! The Christian Grey gazillionaire. How much could I get for the video?"

I stare at the sky, screw the house, I could get a mansion. If we are quick. I skip the firm and head to his office, just a couple blocks away. Holding my cell phone with both hands. Its pure gold. I giggle at my good fortune.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Taylor-pov

I stand looking at the carnage; the dead and wounded killers for hire. I watch the last one, cry in pain as Sawyer hurts him. He spills everything. The damm Taiwan shipping company Grey bought, must be knee deep in nasty shit for this hit. What the frigging hell. Kidnap or kill mission. I need more men as the always late Seattle police creep up. scared the fight is still on. I am pissed off and confused.

Grey was holding the girl, not listening. She was touching his face and chest. What is with fate. He dumps the troll queen, hasn't had a sub in months. Now in the middle of a firefight he finds a new submissive, GOD what is wrong with you. I hand the weapons to SPD. Walking ignoring their questions and demands. Grabbing Luke, we head in.

Luke gets as far as the lobby, Before Fred, the Head of Security here, hauls him to the sitting area for first aid. I look about confused where is the sexfreak? "He when up with the girl."

"Any idea who she is?" I ask not expecting an answer

"Anastasia Rose Steele, 22, senior from WSU. The roommate says she was here to interview Grey." Says a uniformed guard, he holds up what I suspect is her purse and cell phone.

"That wasn't who was interviewing today?"

"Kavanagh, said she's sick with the flu. Sent her roommate to do the interview." I rub my aching eyes; the interview wasn't a problem because Kavanagh is blond, and very pushy.

"Phone." I ask, the guard named Parks hands me the cell

"Miss Kavanagh? What has Mr. Parks told you?" she replies just an accident, I need to correct that and get next of kin information.

"I'm afraid its worse than that. She got caught up in attempted assassination. They plowed her car into Mr. Greys at an intersection. It will be on the news within minutes. she is injured, we don't know yet how much. Who can we call, mother or father?"

I hold my ear away from the phone, got if she is this loud with the flu, she going to give Mia Grey a run for her money. When she calms down she tells me, number five on the speed dial to the cell in my hand. Her father Raymond Steele in Montesano. She will be there in three hours. Hanging up I give Fred the info for when they arrive.

Walking out of the elevator I find Andrea on the phone. Looking into Greys open office. I see Roz wiping his face, he looks ok, but shell shocked. I stare to walk in.

"Jason." Andrea says concerned voice; o' the ice queen has emotions. I turn to her. She looks shaken, more than I would have thought.

"I'm arranging a helicopter to take them to the hospital. I don't think an ambulance could get thru the mess downstairs. The girl has a head wound, dislocated shoulder, and both legs are broken. We have splints on them. Christian has a concussion for sure, glass cuts in his hair and three bullet wounds, just grazes."

I look at her, and then the cell phone in my hand. This is nuts. I walk in and Christian is talking to the girl, she is whispers back to him. Roz stands and lean into me. "They are talking like lovers, who is she and why have we not met her before?"

"Roz, he just met her. She was in the car that took the brunt of the crash. Honestly, I have no idea what is between the two. Look I have to call her father (holding up the cell phone and purse) I dread having to tell a father their daughter is hurt like this."

Roz nods and takes the phone from me. "Name? Number?"

"Steele, Speed 5"

She dials the phone. "Hello Mr. Steele. My name is Roz Bailey of Grey Holdings in Seattle. Yes, I understand this is your daughters cell phone. She was injured in an incident here in Seattle. Yes, she is hurt badly. I need you to be calm. **I NEED YOU TO BE CALM!** Calm, good now. I can send someone to drive you or better send a plane to bring you here. Yes, to Seattle. Annie is being taken to Seattle General. You need to calm down, she doesn't need to know her father killed himself driving to see her in the hospital in Seattle. She is awake but out of it. listen you will hear about the incident on the radio or TV. SO! Be calm. I will send a helicopter to the local airfield. Call back on my cell, got a pen. Good the number is ###-###-####. We are doing everything for them. Yes, I said them, our boss the target was injured as well. He pulled Annie from the wreckage and firefight. Protected her with his body. Yes…... I will see you soon. Be calm, she will need you."

She hangs up handing me the phone. "how did you know he protected her?"

"My office overlooks the intersection, I saw a good deal of the action." She says in her take no prisoner style. But I see the deep emotions she has for the boss. They need each other to be what they are. The best damm business CEO & COO in the world. I feel old and tired very tired.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

I wake on a gurney, loading into a Helio, flashbacks of Afghanistan. I'm not shot? Am I? the medic puts a mask on me. I feel a hand, looking over is Luke with a grin. I go back to sleep. I'm so tired.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grace-pov:

I rush from my office. When the call about my son being medivac gets to me. I arrive at the landing pad. I see two gurneys and two teams. Why two team? I'm about to ask when the helicopter noise drowns out conversation. I watch as my son steps out of the copter with a bundle in his arms. he starts to walk, but several nurses and doctors argue with him. I make my way to them. The bundle is a girl, not much older than a teenager. He is whispering to her. She touches his chest. **HIS CHEST!**

He gentle places her on the gurney, then hustle her away. I touch his arm. "Christian? Get on the table. Please?" he looks at me, hugs me, really hugs me. I cry. He cries. I gentle get him on the table. He passes out. we rush to the ER.

Three hours later.

We move around the waiting room, the family and friends. I don't know what has happened today. First, he slaps Eliana at the luncheon, she refuses to tell me why my son hit her. I fear several things I know about her private life. I could overlook them as none of my business before, now I don't think I can.

Second, the assassination attempt and damage done. At least eight people hurt in the attempt. I'm numb, lost in the terrible scenarios playing in my mind. Christian was letting Anastasia touch him, really touch him. He just met her in the incident, how is any of this possible.

 **SLAMM!** Startle me as my eldest son bounces off a wall. I see an older man Cary age in the door way. A look of anger and pain on his face. Cary moves to get him out of here. " **STOP!** "

We look at Roz, " **Stop!** Mr. Steele. Please come in, this is Mr. Greys family. Miss Kavanagh." He and strawberry Blond bombshell teenager walk in. They must be Anastasia's family.

"Please forgive Elliott, Christian older brother. We have had a couple of Paparazzi, try to get in here. This is Miss Steele father and best friend. Please sit, coffees over there." I am grateful for Roz, none of us are thinking clearly right now.

I watch Cary smooth the waters with Mr. Steele. Getting coffee, they sit with me. we quietly talk about out injured kids. I'm surprise Annie is his step daughter. I ask about the mother. He is very cold about her. Annie loves her mother, but won't trust her to get milk and bread. Speaks volumes about her.

I see Elliott and Kate Kavanagh talking deeply in the corner. I am glad it will take time for Mia to get here from Paris. The drama and tension is nearly unbearable. I try to relax in Cary's arms. but I can't my poor baby is hurt.

I startle when a doctor walks into the room two hours later. Tom looks good, not super sad, just concerned. That's a good sign. We gather around him, like a pack of hyenas.

"Alright. Good news first: they are both out of surgery. Both of Miss Steele legs were set, her left shoulder put back and lacerations sealed. She is sleeping peaceful. Mr. Grey is finally sleeping, his nose is fixed, and all four bullet rounds are sealed. We are observing do to the one that grazed his head. We reset his left wrist that was dislocated. Ahm questions?"

" **BAD** news?" ask Cary and Ray at the same time. Shit is there bad news, I see Tom sweat. He pulls his collar. **SHIT**! His tell for really bad news.

"It's not bad per-say. It's just neither would settle apart. So, they are in one room in the critical care unit. It's the only way to get their vital stable. So please just a few at a time for each. Grace, a word?" he asks. We step out in the hallways. I look. Security has cleared a good section, no one will overhear us.

"Tom?"

"Grace, who is this girl. I've never seen two people in sync like that. They know when the other is near. I know Christian is a very private person. But he nearly stroked out till she was next to him. Her vitals didn't stabilize till he was beside her, still out from the surgery. Who is she?"

"I don't know Tom. I think she is his one, his only one. I prayed to GOD he would send him a soulmate. I believe God works in mysterious ways" he nods, walking away. I lean on the wall. Thank you, GOD, it's been a very strange day indeed.

The end

* the john tate pov is a third person look at the narcissistic self centered people that now exist. he doesn't once feel empathy or civic responsibility. only how famous and how much money the video will fetch. he doesn't even think to give the police the video. I didn't use Roz because I wanted a character without a motive or emotion is describing the shoot-out. beside Roz on the twenty floor half a block from the incident would only have a vague blurry view of the scene. plus she would have had to be looking at the intersection to see the scene unfold; giving her a motive to see CG dead or out of the picture. So the third person one time character had to be the describer of the shoot-out.

*Spelling issues write to MSWord: Grammar well I try to catch with MSWord and proofing the text as best as possible. Reviews as anonymous guest that complaints about spelling and grammar get deleted. Put your name on it an most times I let it get in the reviews.

The following chapters deal with characters going back in the past to decision points in their lives. Knowng they had a choice, choose the wrong path. how that changed them to were they are now. Make them better or worse.

Tines are the point parts of the fork: "Tines in Time" is an old way (New England) of saying the paths we choose in the folks (key decision) of our lives.

I our lives we reach folks that will change our lives good or bad. We choose the path and fate rolls the dice. We reflect back on the paths we choose wishing may time in hindsight that we had chosen the other. but in choosing the other we would never arrive were we are now. The journey is what defines us, not the end of the road pot of gold.

deaconlost


	2. Chapter 2 TINES IN TIME

Chp02 Tines in time

CG-pov

I wake as the colors swirl into forms, shapes, music shifts to word. I shake as the Apartment of my nightmares is before me. I see my mother, Ella on the couch. Stoned out of her mind. I startle as four-year-old me running my cars; thru my legs. I am not here or am I.

I hear the lock on the door, he's here. I shake in terror. He leads a John; directing him to the bedroom. He grabs mom and pushes her towards the room. I tried to hide next to the couch and the wall. Staying quiet but it never works. I watch has he grabs me, hitting me. I move at them; swing at his smug face. My fist just passes thru him. I step back in pain. This is my past and I can't change it. why am I here?

The john leaves, mom kneels and sucks him. I try to get away, as the cigarette sparks and glows. His face takes on a pleasurable happy glow. I would think the blow job: But I notice he hasn't gotten hard. He's impotent. He holds my small body to him. Pressing the glowing stick to my back. I watch myself scream and whimper. Ecstasy covers his face. The Sadist only pleasures is causing other's pain and terror. He pushes me off to the floor. Knees Ella in the face; toss a white pea size rock on the table. A Leaves us in misery and pain.

I am that sadist now, beating my mother for abandoning me, not saving me. Wasn't I worth anything at all to save. To love? I stare at my mother, lost in drugs and pain.

Mom grabs the rock and the glass pipe, smokes it. She takes me in her arms, blowing the acidy poison into my mouth. I never remember that. I wonder if Grace knows?

The room swirls: the window has a frosty patina; the only window pane left: I huddle next to Mom, with a large blanket, with my blue one covering my head. I feel the gnaw hungering: The pain as Mom looks sober, beyond sorrowful. That blank pain no drug could ever cure. The rasp of the locked door. I turn and look. The Door was padlocked. We couldn't leave. The pimp walks in with two men, they head for the bedroom. I huddle inside the big blanket.

He grabs my hair and hauls me up, tossing a Mc-D's bag on the table. He drags me to the bedroom. Tossing me on the bed. I watch as he leaves. The two men strip me, abuse me. They wash me. give me chicken nuggets and hurt me. I wish I was in physical form to hurt them, save me. Rage explodes within me. I feel a serene hand on my chest. Looking down, Anna is here, holding me. no pain, no horrorable burning.

They leave me blooded and bruised on the bed. Mom comes in and cuddle me. Handing me her bag of food. I look into sad brown eyes; tear a big Mac in half with my small hand's and feeds her. Telling her I will be alright. Even at the worst, I cared for her, loved her. She cuddles me, "Maggot don't love me, I failed you" her words are pain beyond any I've ever felt. Anna takes my lips and we disappear for a second, the pain is gone. Just Anna love holds my sanity.

The room shifts again, the green tree down the block is in the window. I know what I will see. I cry as Anna holds me. Mom is sitting on the couch. My battered four-year old body lays next to her wrapped in my blue blanket.

"Christian, I love you more than I can tell you. I know this is hell, its hell for me. I wish your father hadn't died. Or my family loved me enough to take you in. I'm sorry, so sorry my baby boy. So sorry." She kisses my hair. "Silvia betrayed us, I send the third letter to the social welfare people. She said she threw them away. There is nothing I can do but die to save you. I love you baby. I will always love you Christian." She moves from the couch. Getting a glass of water in the kitchen, she takes a power, drinks the yellow tinted water. Rinse and dry's the glass. Why did she dry the glass?

She lays down on the floor. I look at me asleep on the couch. I kneel next to my dying mother. she whispers "Christian I love you."

How can I see this if I was asleep, is this real or fantasy? I spin around and around, in pain and sorrow. What if this was real? Did she?

Warm hands hold me, soft lips kiss my neck and chest. Anna has me, looking beautiful and serene. "Christian, it doesn't matter if it is real or not. It matters she loved you, and you know it. Everything else was nothing but dust and grim. You know she loved you, gave everything for you. you know."

I look at me on the couch, my eyes are open: I saw this play out, I knew she loved me and she was gone. I watch me shake my head and ignore the reality to have one last moment with her. I know it will be four days before my angel saves me. I turn with Anna a walk out the wall:

Xxx

I arrive at a summer day: The Lincoln back yard removing rubble from their new pool. Shirtless me is angry at being here. I hate my life, family, the very sun that shines on me. Eliana walks up, topless. She smacks me and blows me. The first sex I ever had. She walks away. I pull up my pants; looking at the house.

I turn looking at what I saw that day. Linc is in the Kitchen widow with a camera. I remember Taylor stole the blackmail photos she had on me. The first time, I wondered who took the shot. I thought maybe the maid, or she had it on a timer. I know it was Linc.

Then the Beating? divorce? Everything she told me. It was all manipulative lies. I scream at my smug-self loading rubble into the wheelbarrow. If only my mind had saw this, knew this? Believed in myself? I walk towards the house to strangle that bitch!

I walk into her torture chamber, her play room. I watch me getting caned. I remember this one, looking into the mirror as blood sprayed from her hits. The pain and sorrow in my eyes. the realization of what my mother felt locked in that hellhole of an apartment with me. Is this worth it? for sex? Am I not more than this? Would my family really give me back to the state? I must think about this. I don't want this to be my life? My mother's path.

I follow my staggering, stumbling walk home. Watching me lay in the grass beyond the boat house, till darkness takes the land. So? I can sneak into my room, I feel the grinding pain in my ribs, the fires in my back, ass and legs from the cane. I remember my ribs are cracked from the suspension. The beating was because I said stop.

She ignored my safe word. She never gave me that option, only when she sub'd for me did that concept come into being. She never cared, or was concerned about what she did to me. I was just another sex toy, to use, abuse and castaway.

The world swirls: I am in my room: Mom found we passed out in bed, I managed to convince her I was in a fight and lost. The other guy beat with a stick. She believed because I never before lied to her. I've been lying to her for a year. I feel pained, I did that to her. I yell at my teenage self. I just wallow in the bed.

Seating in my desk seat. Elliott looks concerned. That I need to help my stupid baby brother look.

"Christian talk to me. What is going on?"

"Go away lliott"

"Talk to me, please. What every it is you can tell me. The folks don't need to know."

"Elliott, you ever do something you think is right, but seems wrong?"

"Yea, I usually end up telling mom or dad. confession is easier the sooner the better. Letting it fester just causes problems"

"I could never tell them to their face, it's too hard."

"Well bro? write them a letter. Get your thoughts and reasons in order and let the word speak. I know it's hard to express your self. But know this we love you and we always will."

"Ok I'll think about it."

Sitting in bed, I wrote everything to tell Grace, I am going to confess. I can't take being my birth mother anymore. I just can't.

"MOM! someone spray painted my car!" Elliott screams. My door opens door: she is here. She walks up and place a photo of me in the playroom, being pegged. She reaches in my pajamas, grabbing my dick and jacking me off. The other hand takes the letter. She reads, tightening and bleeding me with her nails. She jack me on the paper. Smacks me, punches my cracked ribs.

"Obey me. or else your mother sees how her son really is. You'll be on the street, drugged up and selling your ass for more drugs. Just like mommy did" Eliana says. I see her rip the letter to pieces and flush them down the toilet. I shake as Anna reappears next to me, holding me.

I tear the photo to pieces, flushing them away. I must not cause my mother pain if she finds this out: runs thru my teenage brain. I yell at me to tell Grace, Elliott someone, anyone. But I don't and I am here now in a hospital shot and asleep. In this nightmare. I am alone!

"you are never alone, Christian look at me." I look into blue orbs of love and compassion. "You are loved by your family, friends, an me. You are never alone, except when you choose to be. STOP CHOOSING TO BE ALONE!" she pulls me down to a sweet kiss. I let the fears go, I chose exile, because she made me believe I was worthless without her guidance. I was a fool.

Xxxx

When my head leaves my goddesses lips we are in the great room. I am older, wearing that suit, I wore it out the first year of my company. Roz called it the Monster suit. The tyrant I had become; focused to succeed or die. I remember this day. The first ten-million-dollar day. Today I sold and bought companies that put ten-million dollars in my pocket. Today is the day I rub in Carrick face my success despite my dropping out of Harvard. Today I make him respect me.

We are face to face; screaming at the top of our lungs. He will respect me, or I will beat him to a pulp. I am a Dominate; no one disrespects me. Elliott hauls me out of the house It will be a year before I step foot in here again.

Swirls moves me to my condo on the back side of Capital hill section of Seattle. My third this year since I moved out of Elliott's bachelor pad in Kirkland.

I mulled the JD in a drinking glass, I should call Lisa my third sub, well really the second after Eliana. I meant her at a BDSM Club in town. She is a self-descripted pain freak and can only orgasms being in pain. I enjoy the our play here in my condo. Or do I

Does this lifestyle bring me joy, satisfaction? I feel satisfied when I do a good scene. Make my submissive come and be fulfilled. Am I fulfilled? Maybe I should try a normal relationship; maybe somewhere out there is a girl who can not touch my chest or back? Can love me? am I love-able? Eliana says 'love is for fools'. Is it? does my life have to be like this.

I stare at my broken self, sitting in the dark. Wallowing in Doubt! You can try Christian I scream at me. you can be normal. Anna is out there waiting on you. She can touch you. heal you. Have an ounce of faith in yourself. Please!

I watch the night bleed into Sunday morning. I watch me get out the laptop and bury myself in work. The hands on the clock spin like race car's tachometer. Till darkness creeps across the room. The Doorbell rings. I get up and answer the door.  
"Sir. Madam said you need me?" Lisa speaks eyes down in my doorway.

Send her away, don't you see Eliana is manipulating you again. I try to pleas with myself; but I know the outcome as I drag her inside. This is history, these are the choices I've made to fu ##$K-up my life.

Xxxx

I lay broken on the Couch in Escala; Leia has broken me. I thought her the perfect sub for me, till she when nuts. Now I sit here drink in hand wondering if I should simple die and let my family live a better life without me. I wonder everything I am doing right now?

I see Gail, sit next to me. when did this happen. She takes me in her arms, as I cry and let loose my woes. She holds me, caring not to touch my chest or back. I am pitiful. I see Jason sitting on the arm of the couch, rubbing my hair.

I watch this happen, it did happen? They really care about me. I knew they kind a like me, beyond the money and perks. But is seeing they love me. I am love-able. I see the first brick in the wall of resolve to be exiled crumble.

I see the possibility that Anna has made reality.

Xxxx

The backyard grass, six month ago. Elliott is bruised and bleeding from my fist, Dad is staggering towards me, the right to his jaw addled his brain to match Elliott's. Did they think I would take His bringing a male escort to my office yesterday? Why does everyone assume I'm gay. I understand my hidden sex life, but do I project that vibe. even Roz as lately questioned my sex preference. I am not gay: I AM A DOMINATE, SADIST! I BEAT PETITE BROWN HAIR GIRLS THAT LOOK LIKE ELLA!

I watch my rage driven self stomp and mutter. Is that who I am? I thought so at the time. Then why am I trying so hard to convince myself it's true?

"Because you know its not true. You are more than the scared little boy, the abused teenager. You are more that the ruthless CEO, the closet philanthropist. You are loved: You love and care. Lean down? I will prove it to you." Anna brightly smiles. I feel her lips, her body pressed to mine. She is right; these past choices lead me down the wrong road. Every time a fork appeared to bring me to the light; I chose badly and fell deeper into the evil's hands.

I am loved, I love you and my family. I can do this if you are with me. help me be strong?

"Christian Grey, you are strong, loved and love me. I love you; together we will navigate the new forks in our future. let me help you, guide me: we are forever more mated: soulmates Christian, fate is what we make of it."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

AS-pov

I watch myself next to Christian in the hospital. Staff is murmuring about our comas. I feel him, I watch his steady breaths; a feel serene contentment. I watch his spirit looking at me, then disappears. I follow him into a drug den apartment. He is lost in pain of his birth mother.

My hands reach and hold him as the images of his mother death play about us. His soft neck and hard chest beg for my kisses I lavish on him. I look into pain clouded grey eyes. "Christian, it doesn't matter if it is real or not. It matters she loved you, and you know it. Everything else was nothing but dust and grim. You know she loved you, gave everything for you. you know." We walk thru the wall.

I stand behind the next watching Teenage Christian being raped by a pedophile. His inner turmoil a pain. I must let him work it out. when he became stuck. I move to him, touching is chest. "you are never alone, Christian look at me." I look into grey orbs of pain and loathing "You are loved by your family, friends, an me. You are never alone, except when you choose to be. STOP CHOOSING TO BE ALONE!" I pull him down: kissing him with all my heart. I see him let go his fears: love and compassion flood his beautiful eyes. The air swirls in kaleidoscope of color a sound.

I watch from the mist his trials with his family, his exile and his doubts. Letting him work them out. I know soon I must pick him up and make him see the reality of our existence. Our love.

"Because you know it's not true. You are more than the scared little boy, the abused teenager. You are more that the ruthless CEO, the closet philanthropist. You are loved: You love and care. Lean down I will prove it to you." I brightly smile kissing his lips, feeling his body pressed to mine.

"Christian Grey, you are strong, loved and love me. I love you; together we will navigate the new forks in our future. let me help you, guide me: we are forever more mated: soulmates Christian, fate is what we make of it"

Xxxxxxxxxxx

I watch the day my innocent ended, I came home from school t find my bags packed. We left Ray, my father. Carla gave me five minutes to get anything else from my room. I stuffed my backpack with my journals and the Jane Austen complete novels desk set: Dad gave me for Christmas.

Down the road we pick up a smelly guy, my new stepfather mom happily tells me. He smells of whiskey and cigarettes. Stephen Morton. We drive all night, stopping only for gas, food and bathroom breaks. He has fun forcing us to piss on the side of the road as car pass by. We final stop in Sacramento California. A motel-six where my live turned dark.

I try to tell myself to jump out of the car, run away. but like Christian wanderings. I am seeing the past, an nothing I do can change it. I weep in pain. Christian arms encompass and hold me.

The motel room is small, I curl under the vanity shelf as mom and it have sex. I try to ignore the sounds, losing my self in Emma.

"Ouch!" he kicked me. I look up into his junk. Shit its ugly. He leers at me. "you are an ugly, loser girl. I don't know why we brought you" he grabs my hair and strips my cloths. Laying on the vanity shelf he berates me. smack me. makes me look at his dick.

He drags me into the bathroom, I struggle to get away. He pops my head into the wall. Stunned. He pisses in the toilet holding my head down near it. "Get in the shower! you fat waste of nothing."

I exist the shower towel off to find my clothes and suitcase near the door. There is only one bed. "Come here Anastasia. You sleep with us now." Carla says. I curl under the vanity trying to be small. I the morning. She throws yesterday's cloths at me.

In the car; he takes my backpack, with the books I love, give to me by the man I love and throws them away. smacks me unconscious and we drive away. the next seven months are hell on earth. I stare at the trashcan with my treasures. Wasted by wasted narcissistic people. I never look at my mother the same again.

I blocked these moments out. made excuses for her behavior. Let her have a say and part in my life. That was a mistake. Because she doesn't see or feel she did anything wrong. I heard the apology but know it never touched her eyes. when I wake up; our relationship will be very different.

I feel Christian arms hold me safe. I know he will protect me and make my world happy again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx  
eighteen years old.

I dressed in my gown, strong proud. Today in moments I stand on the stage, give my valedictory speech and take my place in society. Today I am someone special. I walk around the hall, visiting people. The graduating class of Montesano high is just one-hundred and twelve. I hope they are nicer than yearbook day.

Only four classmates signed my yearbook, and three of them I erased the crude hateful things they wrote. I walk around, classmates turn their back, ignore me: make rude crude comments about, my body, face, brain. I nearly cry. But I mustn't cry for Ray's sake. I must be a lady when others are not. I must be. I just must be.

I wish I could go back and change the speech, tell off all these assholes. And mean people. I understand me killing the bell curve and all. But its not my fault. I was born smart. I was born this way. I am not a mean person, I never turndown someone request for help. I never belittle like I was. I wish I could go back and be just like them, treat them like they treated me. I just wish I did.

"No, you don't. you have a good heart and pure caring heart. Anna you are who you are because you're not them. You are mine forever; wait till that gets out. all those mean and hurtful people will be begging you for money, social position, anything. Because you have what they can never have. Me." Christian smiles and kiss me.

He's right, I earned everything I have, even Chris. I feel the truth that I am who I am a no one else especial these kids.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The world shift and tilts to WSU campus the first day. I watch me headed for freshman orientation. Emily Woods, Montesano head cheerleader and school mean girl slut is walk toward me. she as a new posse of pretty girls, dress to skank. I don't see her till we near the door.

They surround me, pushing me. she rips my blouse exposing my bra. I've had It. I haul back and try to punch her. But one of her new friends gabs my arm. She looks perturbed at my resistance. She reaches to strip my shirt; she sneers at me insanely.

I watch the blonde bombshell of Kate Kavanagh, jump into the fight. It turns to a mob of two on five. I take Emily Woods hair and rip a good chunk out; kneeing her nose into mush. I spin around to find the others have fled. Kate walks up and hugs me, making me feel cared for. "hi. I'm Kate. I could use a friend."

Her words still stun me; the smart extroverted journalist is a shy and fearful girl. Never being accepted for who she is, not the daughter of media mogul, the cheerleader, journalist, or even the slut. She is all that but for the truth. She is a kind caring girl who wants to be accepted and talked to like an equal. I give that to her. The introvert me to her extrovert. But in the quiet of our apartment; The real girl shines thru. Mirror copy of me.

I hug myself at my best friend Kate. She hands me her sweater and we finished freshman orientation; within a week I move into her off campus apartment. She is my best friend, a sister I always wanted. She is fearless and brave; but insecure and afraid. I give her strength and back up. She drags me into life and new experiences. Some in hindsight; I could do without, but never regret having done them.

I feel Christian arms tighten around me. I can love him, because I know from my life what truth soul linking love is. I feel his kiss as we retreat to our sleeping bodies. I feel him, hearing his heart beat.

"Christian Grey, you are strong, loved and love me. I love you; together we will navigate the new forks in our future. let me help you, guide me: we are forever more mated: soulmates Christian, fate is what we make of it." I say to him again. I am strong, loved and loving him. Fate is what we make of it, I plan on make it with him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliott-pov

I watch the small kid who doesn't speak at the end of the hospital bed. Rolling two matchbox cars about. He seems lost, Mom tells me he's my new brother. He's been treated bad, and I need to protect him, and help him. I'm trying to figure out how to do that. I can touch him and he doesn't speak. He can but he won't.

I tried to share a toy, he just stared at it like not there. I tried to make sill faces he just doesn.t react. I push him and he screamed till Dad came in and walk me out. my little brother is weird. Really weird.

We stand in the back yard, Mom has the sprinkler going a I run thru it, acting like Hulk Hogan. I love wrestling, Hulk Hogan and Cactus Jack. Christian looks like he wants to run thru the sprinkler but he doesn't. just stands their like stone.

I notice the bucket is full. I smile grabbing it: I douse my little brother. Sticking the bucket on his head. He doesn't scream or get mad. He runs over, fills the bucket and chase me. As long as I don't touch his chest or back. We are cool. We act out tag teaming against imaginary foes. I teach him to slide in the mud. Soon I'll teach him baseball.

We lay soaked in the mud, laughing. He won't speak, but I can make him laugh. I can help him over come the strange round scars on his chest a back. Dad told me evil men did that to him. It hurt a lot. I will protect my brother with all my heart.

I look at my brother in a coma. Three days since the shootout. The girl next to him, look like a high schooler, but I know she is twenty-two. Five-years younger than Christian. But they are connected. If one has to go for a lab, or x-ray. They both must go otherwise the vitals goes haywire.

Mom says she never seen two connect people like this. I watch them, noticing like Mia pointed out their heartbeat is in sync. Like one heart beats for both. Christian looks younger than his twenty-seven. I watched the video of the shootout. His face never changed, I've only seen that face when Mia was brought home. Love, unconditional love. I must protect him; more important I must help him thru his first relationship.

A disturbance at the door. I see my buddy Sawyer hauling a screaming Eliana away. Mom told me Christian had slap her at the luncheon before the shootout. Something is going on between her and Christian. Something so bad; it caused him to hit her. We weren't raised like that. I close my eyes to pray.

Instead I'm back at Grey Manor, home from college for the weekend. Christian got in a fight; the first in over a year. He won't say who beat him up, or why they used a stick. Things don't seem right about it. I try to talk to him, but stones talk more than my brother. He is really worried, deep thinking about something. I need to get thru to him before I go back to college.

Seating in his desk seat, looking concerned, I need to help my brother. "Christian talk to me. What is going on?"

"Go away lliott"

"Talk to me, please. What every it is you can tell me. The folks don't need to know."

"Elliott, you ever do something you think is right, but seems wrong?"

"Yea, I usually end up telling mom or dad. confession is easier the sooner the better. Letting it fester just causes problems"

"I could never tell them to their face, it's too hard."

"Well bro? write them a letter. Get your thoughts and reasons in order and let the word speak. I know its hard to express your elf. But know this we love you and we always will."

"Ok I'll think about it."

I walk out, sure he will write something, for the parents, if not just me. I relax watching the Marnier's lost eight to zero, again; with dad.

I see look in Saturday night: he is writing something serious out. I tell mom and dad before they head out to the country club for a scrabble tournament for charity. They seem worried on their return. Mia and I watch Young Frankenstein; couldn't get Christian to leave his room. He's still writing the confession.

Sunday afternoon, Eliana and Linc are over. They always rubbed me the wrong way. I know Christian has been working odd jobs at their house, with several new after school activities. They seem always to leer at us kids. I especial don't like the way Linc looks at Mia.

I go out to get away from them before lunch. WHAT THE HELL! Someone has spray painted my car, in our driveway. I scream bloody murder. Everyone comes out and looks. Linc and Dad talk back and forth. Mom is worried holding Mia. I am pissed ranting and raving.

Remembering this for some strange reason, where was Eliana. I know Christian was still in bed. Writing his confession. It didn't worry me then, now it does. Christian never gave a letter to me or anyone. When I ask later, he denied ever writing one. But I saw him writing it. Could it have been about Eliana?

The thought is sick, she is so old and was so young. Messed up, what did that Psych major I dated my senior year talk about. Oh, yea! She was writing a paper on how Pedophile manipulate not only the victim, but often the victim's family. Making them believe the child is lying, or unbalanced. That their intervention was helping him.

Him, Christian why does this seem like her paper. Eliana molesting my brother. I will talk with Sawyer, my buddy. He can help me. NDA or NOT: if she did abuse my brother, she's dead.

I look at the two people in the room, how did we get here? I walk outside for some air, walk around the block. I come to small beer bar with a beer garden patio. Sitting looking at the Beer and onion rings. I ordered to snack on.

Weekend right before Christmas; I crashed Christian penthouse with beer and Tat's Deli cheesesteak sandwich. I got my health freak brother the chicken cheesesteak. While I got the Tat's hoagie steak cheese steak with hot peppers and extra meat. I got three regular Cheesesteak for the guy's in the Security room. But only Taylor's there. Strange usually he has more people in there.

He was pissed I was there. I've never seen him a t-shirt ad ripped jeans. Looking almost normal. He tries to get me to leave, but I push him into the media room and force him to eat and drink and watch the last bowl game of the night. I don't remember which one. I was more interested in getting Christian to reconnect with the family.

Looking back, I could have sworn he smelled like sex. Did I interrupt his freak on? He never said anything. I think I was afraid it was a guy. Didn't want him embarrasses. He always was a very private person. When I left I could have sworn I smelled perfume, I just put it down to Gail's perfume. Was he hiding something or someone from me.

Throwing a fifty on the table I head back to talk to Sawyer.

Hospital empty room across from Christian and Anna

I hold Luke a good foot off the ground. I want answers. One way or another. I will know.

"Luke is my brother gay?"

"Elliot let me down. I can't tell you." I release one of my hands and drive into his gut. Sitting on his legs on the floor. I punch his gut till he begs me to stop. Christian took kickboxing. I studied Tae kwon do, Bartitsu jujutsu after learning Legionnaire Savate and Krav Maga. I teach Krav Maga two night a week. I train with Luke and Parks allot.

"Well?"

"No. he is not gay."

"What is Mrs. Lincoln problem with Christian." He shakes his head. I start to punch.

"Elliot get off him, Luke get back on the door." I let him up facing Taylor. We've never spared, but if he doesn't answer we are going at it! Luke leaves.

"Elliott your brother would have a problem you beating answers out of his people, especial because Luke's your friend"

"What is Mrs. Lincoln problem with Christian." I repeat getting ready to kick his ass.

"She was his procurer of sex partners." I stagger back to a wall and slide down it. The knowledge I have is terrible. I have failed my brother so badly. I cry. I feel Jason shaking me.

"Elliott?"

"She molested him, didn't she? When he was a kid. She used that freak shit she's into to hurt him."

"yes." Jason says.

"she still abusing him, controlling him?"

"not really. He seemed to stop everything after you crash the penthouse before Christmas. Something happened with the last one. He hasn't had a sex partner since then, or allowed her in his life."

"Except when we bring her into life. God Mom is going to freak out and kill her. If I don't first."

"Elliott. Listen to me. I am taking care of it the way your brother wants it taken care of. You need to let it go. Understand me. It won't do to have this come out right now." Jason takes me in his arms and I weep like a baby.

After I get my shit together, I apologize to Luke. He hugs me telling me he understands. It been hard with Eliana trying to get back in Christian life. He dumped his interest in her salon in January. They aren't doing very good.

I walk like a zombie down the hallways. Lost in thoughts and pain. I feel a hand take mine. I look into beautiful blue eyes. The girl of my dreams. She takes me out of the hospital. We some how arrive at my house in Kirkland.

Laying in bed; her breath tickling my chest hair. Strange fate to have us meet in pan and discover love. I dreamed the day of pain overtook us all. I was pissed and enraged, at myself and the world. Hitman tried to kill my brother, hurt him and innocent bystander. The Press is so bad. Several Paparazzi's tried to get in here to snap pictures of the grieving Grey family. Several tried to sneak in with the Grand's when they arrived. I felt good to smash that assholes face.

My back to the door, Parks will knock if someone is coming in. I feel the door hit my back. I spin and see an old guy bull into me pushing me into the wall. Dad is moving to get him out of here. "STOP!"

Everyone looks at Roz, "Stop! Mr. Steele. Please come in, this is Mr. Greys family. Miss Kavanagh." He and strawberry Blond bombshell teenager walk in. They must be Steele's family.

"Please forgive Elliott, Christian's older brother. We have had a couple of Paparazzi, try to get in here. This is Miss Steele father and best friend. Please sit, coffees over there." Roz says calmly.

I guess the girls father goes with dad to sit with mom. The strawberry Blond bombshell teenager looks lost. She makes my dick so hard I could crack steel beams. She moves to me, pulling us together is some strange force.

"Katherine Kavanagh, Anna's roommate and best friend." I take her hand, we tingle together, cool. I look into her blue eyes and see something I've never seen before. Home, children, marriage, growing old together. She is the one. "Elliott Grey, Christian's older brother."

We have somehow moved into too a corner of the room, lost in whispered words. After they are settled in the same room, sleeping. We go to the nearby hotel Andrea arranged. Christian all ways efficient Personal Assistant is right on track, including clothes and personal items.

We relieve the stress and tension in each other's arms and bodies. Never have I felt this close and connect to someone. A for the first time ever, I relish holding a girl after sex.

The stress of their comas makes our relationship stronger. Kate is holding Anna's dad in check, as well as my parents. Mom was particularly stress over Anna's introduction into her son's life. Kate and Ray have erased her worries and doubts. Anna is perfect for him. She is smart, independent, and an abuse survivor.

That why she meshes with Christian. Evil has touched their life's and then know how to hide it and will learn to deal with it and let it go. Now I know Evil is trying to reenter their lives. I will make sure with Kate; Eliana Lincoln never touches them. I let her know about Eliana abuse, just not the freaky BDSM shit she does. Jason said he seemed thru with that.

Anna Steele will forge a new life for my little brother. I roll the matchbox car on my nightstand. It's the one I gave him. The first time I saw him in the hospital. Bruised, thin, terrified eyes. He's been treated bad, and I need to protect him, and help him. We will try to figure out how to do that for both.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate-pov:

Night before my first day at WSU is spent in my new apartment off campus. Alone and without friends or even enemies. I was everything three months ago in high school. Everything that counted: Student body president, editor of the school paper, Head of yearbook, cheerleader, home coming queen, Prom queen. The girl invited to every party and event. The afternoon of my graduation everything came down like a house of cards.

I remember all my supposed friends laughing at me. They were off to college, didn't need me anymore. No one invited me to after grad parties, summer parties, returned my phone and texts. I was outcast. No one really liked me. They didn't need the Kavanagh money or name. even Ethan was more popular than I was. I cried my lonely ass to sleep.

I walk on the campus, this will be different. I will make real friends, have real relationships. Be everything I was before. I see two of my former cheerleader team mates: Becky and Tara. I walk up and talk to them. They laugh in my face and call me names. Getting others to join them. I walk away to freshman orientation head high. I won't let them see my pain. How they hurt me.

In front of the hall; I see a circle of five girls, my two former team mates. They surround a brown-haired petite girl. Pushing her, insulting her. The leader rips her blouse exposing my bra. She tried to fight back. I duck my head a walk by. I stop at the stairs. Why the frigging hell should I let them do that to her and do that to me. My temper flares. Jumping into the fight. It turns to a mob of two on five.

My partner has the leader, Emily Woods, bitch Cheerleader from Montesano High School. She rips a good chunk of hair out; kneeing Woods nose into mush. Becky and Tara are running away sporting shiners. I watch the others flee.

I walk to my partner, taking off my sweater. I look into eye naïve and guileless. She is the type of person to tell you the true even if it hurts. The exact opposite of my former so-called friends. She is me, minus the naivete. I walks up and hugs her. She makes me feel cared for, worth something more than my name. "hi. I'm Kate. I could use a friend."

We talk whisper thru orientation, and afterwards walking around the campus. She is introvert: poor, fearless, common sense overload. A super nerd in a models body and face. She really doesn't see what a hot babe she is. We make a strange pair, the extrovert and introvert. But we are both inside the same. Scared, shy girls wanting to soar and afraid to .

Within a week I have her move in; the saving on housing helps her. Bonus she cooks like a pro. The best I can do is make coffee and nuke frozen entrees. We are both serious students, though I plan to party a little more. Anna gets a job in hardware store. In the quiet of our apartment; The real us shines thru,. The first Semesters deans list has me first and her second. I could have never made it thru school without her strength and friendship.

xxxxxxxx

The first summer I get us a paid internship at Dad's radio station in Eureka California. We have a small house on the outskirt of Myrtletown near the Redwood raceway. Occasional on the weekend: the race car noise keep us up. everything was perfect till Ethan, my asshole older brother shows up.

He got fired from his summer job in Florida, working in a senior center as part of his headshrinker degree. He got the boss eighteen year old twin daughters, drunk, naked, orgied and arrested. Seems he is a idiot. Since we have a spare room. Mom send him here to hide out.

I walk in the door after a long night to find him hogtied on the living room floor naked. An Anna packing Wanda to leave. I take her down the street to the Humboldt Cider Company for a cider. She tells me Ethan tried to rape her last night. After she punched his nuts. She locked her bedroom door. She woke this morning to find naked Ethan on top of her.

I beg her stay, Ethan is going away. I return as Anna goes to the beach out at Manila. Mom is unhappy; I shaved Ethan head and send him packing with a belt welt ass. How dare he attack a girl, my friend, my best and only true friend. That Summer cemented our relationship. Cement our bonds.

Now I look at my best friend, in a coma. I want to weep, but I must be strong for Ray and Greys' parents. I like them a lot. So, different from mine. I don't know what link you have with Grey, but it must be strong. The video showed you as I've never seen you. Happy, sexy Anna.

Sometimes my tenacious nature get me and other is dangerous trouble. I never in a million years believe my harassment of Christian Grey, the hottest youngest self-made billionaire on the planet, to do a interview for WSU paper in which I am senor editor. Would put you here, like this. Anna I'm so sorry.

He is or was giving the Commencement Speech at Graduation. The University is kissing his ass over the grants he's given the College, particularly the Agriculture department. A new Agri- research center with a dozen paid intern ships to help easy third and fourth world hunger. So I thought it would be a good idea.

"Anna, I'm sorry I caused you to be here. If I hadn't been sick, or my car died before you left. It's my fault you're in here."

I feel strong arms around me. a fatherly kiss to my brow. Ray holds me in my wallowing guilt. "Katie girls, the terrorist are to blame and only them. Annie just had bad luck. She will pull thru and be upset you blamed yourself."

I cuddle into him. Flashes of the news before Cab came to take me to the airport to fly to Seattle. The wreckage of Wanda on an Audi spider. The bullet holes, the dead bodies. The video tape of the fight. Bloodied Anna hanging from Wanda. Grey rescuing her, carrying her. The internet video on the hospital Helipad. Grey holding her, refusing to let go of her. Their bloodied face. The look he as for my BFF. If that not love and devotion. I don't know what could be.

I feel the world is crazy right now. I hurt so bad; the only one who could make it better. I just met him a hour ago. Ray push thru security, cops and doesn't stop till the closed door of the waiting room. He takes a deep breath and toss the suited security guy and barrages into the room. A tall blond god tries to stop us. Ray toss him. A guy Ray size and age moves to kick us out. "STOP!" We look at the fierier redhead woman in a power suit.

"Stop! Mr. Steele. Please come in, this is Mr. Greys family. Miss Kavanagh." These must be the Grey family and friends.

"Please forgive Elliott, Christian older brother. We have had a couple of Paparazzi, try to get in here. This is Miss Steele father and best friend. Please sit, coffees over there." Red says , I think she's the COO of GEH, the woman hang on her. Must be her wife.

Surfer sex god must be Elliot, Grey's brother. God Can the Greys pick Adonis to adopt. He make me wet and be all scared and shy Pulling us together is some strange force.

"Katherine Kavanagh, Anna's roommate and best friend." I says as he takes hand. We tingle, an electricity surges thru us. I look into his blue eyes: I see my future, his wife, mother to our children. Gray and old, watch great-grand kids frolic in the surf. Adonis surfer god speaks husky and sexy.

"Elliott Grey, Christian's older brother."

We have somehow moved into too a corner of the room. We whisper words, emotions and connect. After they are settled in the same room, sleeping.

We go to the nearby hotel. Elliot tells me Christian's Personal Assistant, the "efficient Andrea Parks" arranged it. I'm shocked she include clothes and personal items. We relieve the stress and tension: is hot sex god Sex! We connect and melt into a peaceful sleep. I for the first time ever, I relish being held after sex.

The days drag as the two remain sleeping. What could they be going. I read the works of Thomas Hardy, Andrea arrange for Anna and me to take are exams once she's awake.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I hear Kate reading Tess to me, I relax in the words and meanings. Other voices I hear are Ray's and Christian's family. I feel him relax too: we no longer wander the past. I dream of future. a house on the Sound, a family of my own. Children running around me with brown and copper hair. I weave a flower crown for a little girl in my lap. Shining brown hair and vibrate grey eyes. A copper head boy hand me more flower for his sister crown.

Copper hair with blue eyes, smiling as Daddy takes him, lifting him to his shoulder, as my husband kneel with a bundle in a blue blanket. Beautiful brown hair and grey eyes smile at me. Ray bounce our son on his shoulder, taking are daughter hand, after I place the crown of flowers on her head. Christian hugs us. We both cuddle our newest son. the Summer breeze off the Sound, if heaven is a place on earth, its right here in his arms, with my children.


	3. Chapter 3 Adult in Hindsight

Chp 03 Adult in Hindsight

Ray-pov

I watch my daughter in a coma, why they can't tell me. I suspect because Christian is in one from the head wound. I watch the in-sync heart beat on the monitor, the doctors didn't believe us, till they put them on one dual monitor. I hold my girls' hand. I've been here before.

Las Vegas: I stare at a battered, abused 11-year-old girl, my daughter. When I first saw her, I had to leave and find my Ex-wife. She was easy to find in the county lock up. luck for her and her husband. I look at her drug ravaged face, aged her decades. I feel nothing for this woman I married. I knew she was unstable, I just never thought she would do this shit to her own daughter.

"Carla! The DA is willing to cut four years off you're sentence if you sign over Custody of Annie." I tell her what I worked out with the slimy DA. Luck for me the Deputy-DA is a retired Marine, he worked out what I can say and still be legal.

"I want out, no Charges." Carla is mental for sure.

"You get a reduction, nothing more."

"Talk to them, do you really want Annie in state child service?" she smirks at me.

"Thank you very much. Carla. We are threw. Done." I get up and start to walk out. I stop and turn at the door. "the Judge was listening in. I have full custody. You have nothing." I walk out the door and never look back. The paperwork takes three days. The hospital takes eight. I take Annie home to Montesano.

Montesano:

Today is Annie birthday, she turns twelve today. I watch a girl moving thru life on autopilot, without the spark that was once there. I had Marie Rodriquez, wife of my buddy Jose, make a cake. They will bring it over later. In less then a year, her mother destroyed her.

I hug her, giving her all the love, I can give. The world is still off kilter. I need something to get my girl back. I worry she may never bounce back. I worry about what the future hold.

River park in town, we walk quietly. Enjoying the fall morning, the leaves changed colors, the fragrance of cedar and pine. We walk and I worry. I don't know what to do. We round a bend in the trail, a big boy is beating a little boy. Before I can move; Annie tears into the bigger boy. He must be sixteen or more, at least twice Annie weight and size.

She doesn't falter at all. The boy is down screaming for help before I get there. I laugh, my little hellcat is pissed off and taking no shit, offers no mercy. I pick up my hellcat, holding her, kissing her hair. I hold on while I sort the problem. I take the three to a house couple block in from the river. The little boy is neighbor to his bully, who is seventeen.

The little boys' parents are afraid of the bullies' father next door. I plant her in the car, walking the bully to his house. The father tries to intimidate me. He screams like a girl putting him on the ground. The arm bar is old and tried technique. I promise him, if I hear his son or him acting up. I'll be back. The son looks smirking at his father. "You! asshole; I'll let my Daughter loose on you." he shakes and begs he'll be good.

When I return to the car, Annie looks at me. the spark is back. She is healing and moving forward. Before she leaves middle school, she is suspended three times for fighting. Almost all bullies, one self-absorbed Princess cheerleader named Woods. She excels and become the best student in the School district. My daughter is back, with a darkside. I hope in time it lessens; I hope.

Xxxxx

I see her chest rise and fall rhythmic, un-naturally synced. I worry she has no friends other than Kate, Rodriquez family and couple of teachers. Almost all of her friends in school are Kate's. I worried from the day Annie's graduate high school.

The day was sunny and rain free. The campus was well cared for, and trash free. The principle was replaced last week for taking bribes to fudge grades. Annie never need that, I suspect her competition was one of the bribers. They seem to come from the rich parents.

She is dressed in her Cap & gown. A strong proud young woman. She will be on stage; valedictorian of the senior class. Her speech is good and heartfelt. I see her falter, as her classmates repeat yearbook day. She walked around: Her classmates turn their back, ignore her. I caught several of the crude comments. Hoping to damage her ego over her body and grades.

She doesn't cry, I know for my sake. Her look and posture are right out of one of those stiff British Tomes: Hardy or Austen. She projects a lady when others are not. I am proud of her. She doesn't let them see her hurt. I must let her be. Let her fight the battles. She is stronger than anyone I've ever met.

Xxxxx

I walk; Kate sits with her, Hardy's Tess in her hands. One of Annie's favorite. I enter the waiting room, very different from the first time. I can understand Elliott and Parks reaction. I've tossed three of the parasite paparazzi out of the hospital and hotel. No one is here except the Cafeteria worker, replacing the coffee and food. This is day three, I wonder how many more days will be in this suspend state of living, existence is trapped here with them in Comas.

I swirl the coffee, letting the cream mix. Kate Kavanagh, Annie's BFF, roommate, her Ying to Annie's Yang. The first time I met her was the four weeks of college. The sink in the apartment broke and the building manger and maintenance man weren't going to timely fix it. Big mistake on their part.

The Manger pissed himself when I showed up with the deputy Police chief of Portland, a classmate at Norwich. The so-called maintenance man decides to purse a career in fast food industries. The girls enter from class to me under the sink: Just finishing replacing the busted Garbage disposable, U-bend drain pipe, dishwasher hoses, all the water lines and water valve bushings.

They order Chinese: Annie gets my favorites Chicken in Hot Spicy Garlic sauce with Mu Shu Chicken. I will split mine with her Spicy mango Chicken. Kate's gets Combo Chow Fun with a side of fried zucchini. We sit around the coffee table on the floor eating a little of each other's orders.

I watch the rich girl, thinking she is using Annie for grades. But as the evening goes, I see its Annie the leader. Kate has her extrovert moments'. But it's my Annie who is the power house here. Without her Kate would be lost and rudderless.

As the years pass, I see how together they are, at one point I worried they might be developing into a couple. There is nothing wrong with being Gay. But I worry about Annie's first sexual relationship. I know she is still a virgin.

Since this has happened, Kate as proven how much Annie means to her. She confessed that second day, how lost she was before she met Annie. They both left High school friendless; finding kindred spirit in each other. The seemed to swapped First place on the dean's list every semester. It never bothered them, who was first. Annie would always support Kate and Kate would always support Annie.

I wondered why Kate was like she was? Their sophomore year: Thanksgiving proved to me why Kate needed us. We were invited to the Kavanagh Thanksgiving Dinner. I have never met more people I want to hurt, then during that dinner. Everything was highbrow, overdone and lacked any family spirit or family love. It was like four people that can barely stand each other; forced into a closed space. Worse the family dinner was forty people, of which only six were part of the Kavanagh Family.

Everyone else worked of the Kavanagh Media empire. We had little in common, with the ass-kissers. Kate's mom, a world-famous Wedding Dress designer spent more time with a fellow designer two years older than Kate; little doubt she banging the boy-toy. Her father Emanon, spent the day with two reporters he's is sleeping with. Kate's Brother Ethan is a piece of shit, he singles out three wives' to competing for his bed. At their husbands' encouragement. I so want to beat the shit out of everyone here, except Annie and Kate. I know something happened in Eureka with Ethan. Ethan stay a far as possible from the girls.

We leave as soon as we can. Kate weeps in Annie's arm that night in our house. She spends the weekend; the girls recover from the Kavanagh family disaster. I see the real girl and know she needs us.

Xxxxxxx

I was taking a break from a custom rocker crib. The Shaker inspired design is a century old; A from the Shaker Village in Pittsfield, MA collection. I look out the front yard towards the grove of woods. I relax, everything is turn up gold this spring, with summer looking even better. Kate and Annie are graduating in a few weeks, I have a date Saturday, Jose and son own me a fishing trip to Brownlee reservoir for fishing.

**[ italics is Roz, regular is Ray]

" **RING! RING! RING!"** my cell phone rings, I wonder if it's the couple calling about the crib again. they seem to call three or four times a day. She still has four months before they need it. Pregnant Woman are weird.

I look at the CALLER ID; Annie is calling me. Why, she checked Monday about my suit in the cleaner? I answer the call.

" _Hello Mr. Steele. My name is Roz Bailey of Grey Holdings in Seattle."_

"This is my daughters cell phone, is she hurt?"

" _Yes, I understand this is your daughters cell phone. She was injured in an incident here in Seattle."_

"Is it bad?"

" _Yes, she is hurt badly_."

" **WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN, WHERE IS SHE? IS SHE GOING TO LIVE?"**

"I need you to be calm."

" **CALM DOWN, HOW THE HELL CAN I CALM DOWN. MY DAUGHTER IS INJURIED HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY. OH GOD IS SHE DYING"**

" _ **I NEED YOU TO BE CALM!**_ _"_ The push woman on the phone screams back at me. I must work the problem, not the emotions. I take a breath. I must get the information and get to my daughter. before it's to late.

"Where is she, I need to get on the road to be there for her."

" _Calm, good now. I can send someone to drive you or better send a plane to bring you here."_

She's in Seattle? Where in Seattle?" I am getting agitated.

" _Yes, to Seattle. Annie is being taken to Seattle General."_

" **I NEED TO GET THERE!"**

" _You need to calm down, she doesn't need to know her father killed himself driving to see her in the hospital in Seattle."_

Shit! She is right, Annie would be crushed if I died acting stupid getting to her. "How is she, what happened?"

" _She is awake but out of it. listen you will hear about the incident on the radio or TV. SO! Be calm._

"Its on TV! How can I be calm when you tell me that?"

" _I will send a helicopter to the local airfield. Call back on my cell, got a pen. Good the number is ###-###-####. We are doing everything for them."_

I get a pencil from my pocket and write on the arm of the crib. I can sand it off later. Sending a helio for me, why. What are the not telling me? What did she mean them? **"THEM?"**

" _Yes, I said them, our boss the target was injured as well. He pulled Annie from the wreckage and firefight. Protected her with his body."_

Firefight, her boss protecting her. Who is higher than a COO? Wreckage?

"If she dies! Who ever hurt her is dead you understand what I am telling you, Mrs. Bailey!

 _Yes…... I will see you soon. Be calm, she will need you."_ I hang up the phone and head into change. Turning on the TV as I shower. I need the time to cool off. I walk out of the Bathroom, in a towel. What the frigging hell! I see Wanda on top of a sports car, I think an Audi.

A monster SUV is plowed into Wanda and the Audi. The camera zooms in, bullet holes. Shell casing litter the ground. The ticker says an assassination attempt on Christian Grey of GEH. Billionaire. They show a stock photo at some conference or thing.

Dressing I hear assault weapons firing. I look at the TV. A copper headed guys, that must be Grey, with bloody face gets out of the Sports car. He walks thru the bullets to the Wanda. Annie's brown hair frames a bloody face. He takes her in his arms. There is no audio over the firefight.

One of the guys behind him charges forward: Shooting, screaming at the Grey. He is looking only at the Annie.

Suddenly he ducks down and moves behind the sports car, other guy back there, blond drags them behind the SUV. I see one gunman on the sidewalk, shooting at the SUV. he disappears behind the SUV.

I watch as he flays back into view. Going down on the sidewalk. I bet he's dead. The last gunman turns and runs. The big guy shooting at him, aims coldly and puts him on the ground. I watch as the wounded gunman tries to crawl away. The video zooms out, Grey with Annie in his arms walks thru the intersection. I see them enter a skyscraper, the steel words over the door says Grey House. As the video ends.

I sit on the bed, replaying in my mind the video. She was bleeding from her head. Her legs looked weird, maybe broken. That common with car crashes. Grey was unafraid getting her from the Wanda. They seemed to be talking, couldn't hear any words, but she was touching him like a lover. I need to find out what the hell is going on.

I call Carl, a VFW buddy at the Airfield. Telling him I'll be there is fifteen minutes. I am expecting a plane or helio from GEH in Seattle. He tells me the airfield in Tacoma, called. The helio is due in twenty minutes for me. good!

In the car: I call Kate, she is sick, sent Annie to Seattle to interview Grey. I ask was she on her way back? Was Grey Stalking her? She tells me

Annie was arriving, hadn't done the interview yet. She doesn't know why Grey was behind her. She's chartered a plane to Seattle from Portland. I calculate the flights. We should arrive is Seattle at the same time. She gives me the flight info. She flying into Boeing Field. I will ask the Helio pilot where we are landing, maybe meet up with Kate.

Seattle Boeing Field, the helio lands and picks up Kate from the tarmac. We fly to the hospital helipad. We move down, and our directed to the where the family is hold up. I stare down the Security Guy on the door. I am too keyed up too do theses protocols shit. I toss him away and bull into the room.

Later as we wait for the doctor to update us. Annie in surgery. I sit in the waiting room wallowing in memories of thing I did and didn't do.

Please GOD let my daughter live and wake up. Both of them. I feel a hand on my arm. Cary, looks at me. Fathers can feel each other pain in this time and place. We sip coffee, stare at off-white walls. I know we are both reflecting on the past.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 **Cary-pov**

I find Ray in the waiting room, Mia is with Christian, While Kate is with Annie reading Tess of the d'Urberville. Anna is an English lit. major about to graduate; second on the Deans list. Kate her roommate and Best Friend is Valedictorian. From Ray and Kate: I think publicly they are very different people. But the more I see of Kate. The more I see the real girl. You can feel the pain and anguish she is living.

Elliott and her are becoming a couple. I wonder with Christian actions, their synced heart beats. If Grace is correct, she is his one. I want so bad for my son to be happy. I sit next to Ray, bump his arm. We feel the family pain and worries. Wallowing in the dark places of our minds.

xxxxxx

The wall warps to Grey Manor drive way, a six-year old Christian is learning to ride a BMX bicycle. He so wants to learn; be like Elliott. I worry at his riding the bike. Made worse by the fact he still wont talk. Mia is due Friday, three days away. I wonder how he will react. I suspect Elliott will be put out for a while with another kid and a sister to boot. He will come around, its his nature to be a protector, Big brother.

Christian is refusing to give up, he has fallen about a half dozen times. I adjust the training wheel to lessen his falls. Falling mostly trying to turn. I walk beside him, talking him thru the turns, he gets better and better. For the first time I feel I'm accomplish something with him. His smile is breathtaking. I tousle his hair. He rides to the house to show Grace. I watch him, knowing he will be a handful, but alright. I feel my family, As Elliott is whooping it up as Christian does circles.

xxxxx

We are standing in the great room, he tells me he is dropping out to start his dream company. We must force him back to school. I am pissed is no one in this family following me at Harvard. Our friends tell us we have to force him back to school. Eliana is so vocal: how a lack of degree has hurt her career after her divorce.

The room shrinks as we two stubborn people butt heads. I refuse to give an inch. He stomps out. I walk down to the lake. I wander the shore: screaming and yelling in pain. I see Grace in the window. I must be strong.

I reflect on the wall. Before the attempted assassination, Christian slapped Elaina at the Coping Together Thank-you Luncheon. Neither of my sons have ever hit a woman in angry. That has sparked little moments' in the past that should have meant something.

Looks, whisper conversations. The Salons, I know she loaned him the capital to start his company. I know she is the only one not family to have access. She always played it off, she was abused wife, Christian was a abused child. They bonded by the experience. Or so she said.

Could her sexual lifestyle have something to do with it? I learned in the divorce Her and Linc were into BDSM. Could Christian be in that shit. Why would he need it? Has the abused become the abuser. That is so common the cycle of abuse.

I wonder, pinching the bridge of my nose. Pieces of pieces; this jigsaw puzzle is slowly filling in. I will have the firms PI look into her. With Taylor and Welch being adamant Eliana is banded from the hospital, Grey house and Escala. Taylor when so far as to band her in my house. Grace can't call her. Barney Christian's IT guy; Has blocked her numbers. I feel she is something waiting to hurt my family.

Six months ago, before Thanksgiving: I stagger towards Christian; my jaw aches from his fist. My head is still scramble. The backyard grass is a mad house as Christian and Elliott go at it. For all of Elliott's martial arts prowess, he is barely a match for Christian ferocious and willingness to take damage to win. Elliott is bruised and bleeding crawling after his brother. I watch him in rage, stomp and mutter away.

I know Elliott demands, refusal to allow Christian to leave without an answer. I know the male escort at Grey House was uncalled for and insulting. But we have to know? We have to know, so we can help him move forward.

Grace is heartbroken: he is lonely and moving further to exile us from his life. I don't care if he is gay or not. We what to accept him and have him be happy; no matter what he is in to.

I pace the waiting room, that day. Weights heavy on my mind since that day. Now with Eliana; I worry if he is not gay but into BDSM. Could he be hurting others. Or is he wanting people to hurt him. I must get time and check Escala. I worry what I will find. I know Elliott has learned something. He and Kate are combining to make sure Eliana Lincoln never gets with hundred feet of us.

xxxxxxxxx

I find myself standing in the doorway of the room. Looking at the two kids. How did we get here? I remember, my secretary and Paralegal rush into court. What is going on? The judge is not happy as Cecil my paralegal states that an incident has happened to my son. I need to leave.

A bailiff whispers in the judge's ear. "Alright, Carrick have your second seat take over, till another partner gets here. Go your family needs you." Judge says with tears in his eyes. **OH! GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED.**

In the car, a phone is shoved into my hands. A video shows a SUV crosses lane and runs head on into an ancient VW Bug. Driving it into a chain reaction crash. It's wheel smoke as it tries to drive even further into the wreckage.

The doors pop open and four men with guns jump out and fire. The VW is on top of a once sexy sports car. O'GOD an Audi spider. Christian Audi Spider. OH GOD NO! A SUV behind it is open; Taylor and Sawyer shoot back.

A bloodied Christian gets out of his car. He walks thru the bullets to the VW. The VW driver is a female with brown hair, bloody face. He takes her in his arms. There is no audio but the asshole recording this. I see their lips moving. She touches his face, his chest. He smiles. I can see the love pass between them. Who is she? Why have we not meant her?

Taylor charges forward. Shooting; I see two of the four bad guys are down. He's screaming at Christian to get down. Christian is only looking at the girl.

Suddenly he ducks down and moves behind the sports car, Sawyer Drags them behind the SUV. I see one gunman on the sidewalk, shooting at the SUV. he disappears behind the SUV.

I watch as he flays back into view. Going down on the sidewalk. I bet he's dead. The last gunman turns and runs. The Taylor shooting him low in the pelvis, he will live. Taylor is coldly and ruthless insuring a survivor to talk. The wounded gunman tries to crawl away.

I see a Grey house Security guard charge over and disarm him. The camera man pan's back, Christian with girl in his arms walks thru the intersection: Entering Grey House. He's moving, maybe he is not to badly hurt.

"JOE to the Hospital! Andrea says Grey and Steele are being Medevacked from Grey House to Seattle General." Cecil screams. I grab for a phone; I must call Grace. I'm only getting busy tone. The car can't move fast enough. I wallow in doubt and fears. Pulling my hair, who tried to kill my son. and even more important who is Miss Steele? What is her relationship with my very private reclusive son

Xxxxx

I watch from the door. They have never met before today. She wasn't even supposed to be here today. Fate has thrust her into our family. Kate and Ray easy are worries of what Anastasia Steele will mean in our family. Christian would be insane to let the girl go. She is everything he needs in his life. I hope, when they wake up, he will realize she is his one.

I feel Grace in my arms, hugging me. Our family has weathered other tragedies, we will weather this one and fold in Ray, Anna, and Kate into our hearts and lives. I kiss her head. Love is everything to us. A love them we: do, will forever.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 **Grace-pov**

I watch my son, sleeping. Lost in a coma. His brain monitor shows a chaotic mind. His he working thru the attempt. The past? The present? What are you dreaming Christian? I lay my head down so he won't see me weep. I place his hand on my head. Hoping he will wake.

I remember every milestone, ever time he was my joy and heartache. The proud and not so proud moments in our live. My baby boy, from the first instant in the ER in Detroit, to four days ago at the Luncheon.

I stare had his copper locks, running my hands thru his hair, like I did when he had nightmares. My boy, my precious boy. When did I lose you? I shutter at the reality strikes me, "OH! NO!" my body shakes. The day he came home from Eliana, the first day he worked for her. He refused to look at me; it would be weeks before he would look me in the eyes.

I thought at the time it was embarrassment for his stealing, drinking, using drug. He was changing, I hoped for the better. Now I realize my so-called friend Eliana Lincoln was abusing him. The only way she could of: sex! She raped my Babyboy. She used the lure of sex and being able to do it without touching his no go areas. By making him her sex slave in SM.

I know she was into the whole BDSM scene, she told me: she started after the divorce. More lies, more manipulation. All focused to make Christian vulnerable to her and isolate her from me. Isolate him from the family.

I hurt from the pain, the realization causes me. I leave, letting Kate look after both. I check in the waiting room, Cary is lost in painful thoughts. Mom is sipping a tea, keeping a eye on him. "Mom, can you sit with Christian, I have to go out."

She looks concerned, I would even leave the hospital; it must be serious. I kiss her cheek, and hug her. I know what I must do. I leave the Hospital, Luke Sawyer escorts me. In the car, I must think? "Luke please take me to Club Noir in Dogtown". He looks like I'm crazy. "Luke now"

He starts the car and we move. I look out the window, such a nice summer day, like the first day Christian started regular school.

He was terrified at other kids around him, the interactions. I made sure the staff knew and understood his Touch issues. My brave boy, terrified, but trusting me to keep him safe. I walked him to his class room and let him introduce himself. He still is very quiet with few words. But he slowly gets use to the class and other kids.

Picking him up that afternoon, he was happy and excited to be in class and learning. By the end of the years, they jumped him into a grade higher than his age would be in. My smart baby boy. How high school would change that. the hormones, the ugly mean students. Those asshole Counselor, ignoring his touch issues.

The look of pain and rage at his third expulsion, the pain he couldn't voice. I let him play the piano to expunge the emotions. I remember sitting on the patio, a tall straight vodka in my hand. Why is he fighting all the time? What is going on?

I know now the counselors refused to accept Christian had Haphephobia. The assholes put in motion my baby boys abuse by my friend. I crack my knuckles. I will find answers.

The Club Noir is down a dead-end alley. The Club is nearly empty this early in the day. I walk up to the bored bartender in leather slave gear. Looking like a tack stereotype extra in Al Pacino's Cruising _._ "I want to speak to the owner!" I stare him down. He turns and goes in the back. Luke is nearby, looking at the few Dom's and Slaves. I smile as Vicky Redmond walks out. My college friend; other exiled her when her sex lifestyle came out, I was one of the two who didn't. I walk up to her, she expects a hug. Not my straight right.

She slams on her ass. I grab her hair and dragging her to the stage. I hear a bunch of glasses breaking. I look over at the bar. The bartender is missing, the remains of the stacked glasses and bottles, cascades onto the floor in the well. Luke looks bored.

I slam her up on a padded table. I punch her several more time. I hang her head over the edge. "Vicky? Do you have something to tell me about my son?" terror is in her eyes. I know the truth!

"Vicky, say the words." I twist her hair, causing more pain. Nothing like the **Pain;** that woman (Eliana) did to my son.

"Christian is an adult, it was always consensual. You know he chose this lifestyle." She pleas. I punch her face. Seeing the blood drip from her busted nose.

" **IT WAS NEVER CONSENSUAL, HE WAS FIFTEEN WHEN THAT BITCH RAPED HIM, FORCED HIM INTO THE LIFESTYLE!"** I shake her. **"YOU WERE MY FRIEND! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! LAUGHING AT ME WHEN I TOLD YOU MY WORRIES! VICKY! I STOOD UP FOR YOU WHEN EVERYONE ELSE DESERTED YOU. I SUPPORTED YOU MOVING HERE, AN RESTARTING YOUR LIFE AFTER YOUR DIVORCE! I SUPPORTED YOU WHEN YOU STARTED THIS CLUB! I'M GODMOTHER TO YOUR DAUGHTER REBECCA GRACE REDMOND. I WAS YOUR BIRTHING COACH! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME! YOU COULD HAVE FORCED ELIANA WAY FROM HIM. WHY DIDN'T YOU!"** I scream in pain and rage.

She cries, I let her alone. She knows the harm and pain she caused me. She put a knife in my back, and twisted it. She failed me, when I never failed her. She didn't protect my son like I did for my goddaughter. A lone tear falls down my face. A tear for our friendship, Rebecca.

I see my face in the remains of the bar mirror; I looks evil and hated filled. The beast I keep hidden is unleashed and unchecked. Grizzly Grace is on the rampage. Another former friend has abused my trust and family.

I take a bar rag and wipe my hands. I see my fourteen-year-old goddaughter looking at me. She walks up. "Why Grace? Why?'

"your mother knew Christian was in this lifestyle and never told me. She knew Eliana was controlling him, abused him. She never told me. Never force Eliana away from Christian. I understand the secretive needs in this world. But she knew my fear, worries and never told me. I am sorry; I can't be your God mother anymore." I turn and walk outside. Leaving her in tears.

"Luke where is Elaina?"

"At her house." Luke tells me.

I sit in the car. "Luke take me there." We drive away. I call Cary.

"Cary, I want the loan to Vicky Redmond pulled. The reason? She knew about Christian and Eliana. She knew he was raped when he was fifteen." I hang up. turn off my phone. I don't need his rational mind working on this. I need to feel her throat under my fingers.

We turn the corner onto her street. Her house is festooned with police cars. I see a coroner's van, in the driveways. Luke stops I get out and walk forward. Taylor walks to me, taking my arm and leads me back to the car. Forcing me inside. He sits next to me. "Luke, Grey Manor. Cary is waiting for you there."

"Eliana?"

"Eliana and Linc were killed about two hours ago; when six parents of her victims' arrived to find her using her latest underage boy. All six parents had lost their sons to suicide after she had them. They refuse to say who did it." I smile and cry. What a bad mother I am.

"Grace, nothing ties Christian to her, no evidence. The Club Noir thing, is taken care of. Miss Redmond and her daughter are moving to Texas. The Club will be gone before Monday. It's taken care of, like Christian wanted it. Except he never want'd you and Cary to find out."

"Jason, his current slave?"

"Grace, he hasn't had a submissive since before Christmas. He was already moving away from it. I know he was hoping for a new start and someone to help him grow and love him."

"Anna, is she that person?"

"Grace, like you said days ago. She is his one. His soulmate. We will all help him succeed. We need to let the past go. And make tomorrow the focus. Please let him leave the baggage in the past where it belongs." Jason begs me. he is right. I need to let the pain go and cherish the new start waiting when they wake up.

XXXX

Cary holds me in bed, our bed in our house. I cried myself out, I let the pain, fears and humiliation go. Cary weeps with me, for our son. I can only watch the trees sway in the night breeze. I can only hold myself in this moment.

In the morning I sit on the patio, sipping my coffee. Watching the water ripples and wavelet crest and foam. The stiff wind reddens and smack my face. I look out as a boat, father and young son fish, trolling past me.

I turn inward to Christmas. After the fight between Elliott and Christian, Cary tried to stop them and got a good knot on his tough skull. I could only relive all the times I worried and feared for my son to find someone, anyone to love. I won't have cared if it was a gold digger, slut, male or female. I just want my lonely, loathing son to have someone to break his loneliness. Easy his pain. Be there for him, when he refused to allow me and his father to be there for him.

Now, the reality of the dawn. He had a lot of women in his dungeon. He beat them, why? I don't understand. Why? Because I was a bad mother, didn't love him enough, force him to overcome his touching.

The noise is deafening. The wind is blowing from the helicopter spinning blades. Christian stands holding Anna. He gentle places her on the gurney, then hustle her away. I touch his arm. "Christian? Get on the table. Please?" he looks at me with emotions I can't decipher. Emotion I have never seen in his eyes. He hugs me, really hugs me. I feel all the pain, suffering, love, cherish-ment, devotion he has for me and his family. I cry and my no longer lonely exiled son. He cries; I feel him letting something go. I gentle get him on the table. He passes out; a smile on his lips. I kiss his forehead. We rush to the ER.

He loved me so much he didn't want to hurt, or harm me or his father. She used that against him. He always loved us. Always cared for us. Always tried to make our world better and happier, while denying himself. Anna will never allow him to go back into the darkness, and neither will I.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sit holding his hand and tell him everything that has happened. Everything I never told him. All the things I needed to express to him. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat. It skips a beat, then returns to normal. Cary siting with Anna. I tell her all my fears and dreams for her and Christian. I feel closer to them. I feel a part of his life, the first time in along while. We have hope of a better tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4 Storm before the calm

Chp04 strange days

Storm before the calm

Xxxxxxxxxx

 **Storm Ending** By jean Toomer

Thunder blossoms gorgeously above our heads,

Great, hollow, bell-like flowers,

Rumbling in the wind,

Stretching clappers to strike our ears . . .

Full-lipped flowers

Bitten by the sun

Bleeding rain

Dripping rain like golden honey—

And the sweet earth flying from the thunder.

xxxxxxx

Gail-pov

I bring health food for the family to eat, the hospital cafeteria can do coffee and tea, but the rest is still hospital food. I spent the time baking. Lots of baking. I manage to drag Mia and Andrea here to help me a couple of times during the last four days. I watch the birds float by the window.

I know Jason and Christian will be mad at me. For forcing Christian to move forwards. I decided to act with Andrea and Barneys help; the playroom is gone. It's now the luggage, and miscellaneous store room. I worry that it will cost me my job; but the video of Christian and Miss Steele is so telling.

Looking at the seagulls, my reflection in the window. I see Karen the first submissive I met. I wonder how a bright, intelligent woman with a good job would want or let a man beat her. First impressions can be very deceiving.

Karen walk into my house, like she owned it. She entered the staff quarters to demand I help her cook Mr. Grey's dinner. He was late returning home from a video conference call to Italy. She wasted the afternoon away doing beauty and playing on her computer.

I helped her get some pasta in marinara sauce ready with a salad. Till I looked what she was doing online. She was looking for jewelry, cloths and things for Christian to buy her. I asked about it. She laughed, "A girls got do what a girl wants to be pampered." The greed and avarice were so bad. I left the kitchen.

She burned the food, spilled the salad. When she demanded trinkets. Christian let her go and good riddance. Very few of the sub's lowered to her greed level. Most were even more over the top. I worried about Christian.

As the months and years when by I developed deep feelings for Christian. I loved Jason with all my heart. But Christian had hold of me too. I began to see him as my son. I treated him as a son. Helping to smooth the waters of his troubled mind. I would leave piano music sheets on the piano. He would many times play the sheets I left, then the sad stuff that wallow his pain.

I added soothing scents to his bed linen, had chocolate cake on stand by for difficult days. Spiked several expense wine bottles with Everclear. For when the Bitch Troll showed up, or he had lunch with her. I made him feel cared and loved as best he could realize it at the time.

I stare at the oven door, waiting the ding-ling of the timer. The day after Christmas two year ago: I found him naked on the floor under the piano. Sweating, crying, anguish unparalleled in our experience. I laid down and let him cuddle into me. After a while I looked up to see Jason sitting near bye. I nod him over.

We got Christian to bed, he was so out of it. He never reacted to us touching his chest and back. He slept for 30hour. Remembering nothing of what had happened.

Christian walks into the kitchen, seems lost. A little unsure what is going on. I put a coffee on the breakfast bar, taking a seat. He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't.

"Christian, what is wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Christian you slept for thirty hours, you were drunk under your piano. Curled up in the fetal position. You don't remember any of that do you?" I say. He buries his head and shakes. I move around touching his arm, letting him know I am here for him.

"Everything was normal, till Elliott and his date started talking about a ski trip to MT. Hood, tomorrow, I mean on the twenty-six; then Eliana started to needle me about not having a submissive. And everyone was demanding I tell them something about my private life. Acting like I was a doll for them to torment." He shakes and whimpers. I squeeze his arm.

"What do you want Christian?" I ask; afraid of the answer.

"I want someone to trust, someone to do things with. Not just the playroom. But normal things. Stuff Elliott does. I have to buy my sex partners, he just has to smile and act goofy."

I realize his pain is loneliness. He needs a hobby, friends, girlfriend. Not a submissive, but an honest real person to challenge and force him to have emotions and feelings. For now, I must think on what to do; to be his friend, his pseudo-mother. Oh My GOD; where did that thought come from. He has a loving caring mother. He isolates himself from his family. Why?

I talk with Jason that night. He believes as long the bitch troll is around, Grey will not reconcile with his family, develop friends and even try a normal relationship with a girl. We take steps to lessen and frustrate that evil woman. It began to pay dividends. I rope Andrea into helping us.

xxxxx

Leia has broken him. She lasted the longest, the least submissive, till she when nuts. He sat on the couch in Escala: drinking and self-loathing we feared he would take his own life. He mutters over and over "I am doing right now? Should I die? Will it stop the pain?"

I sit next to him, carefully avoiding his back and chest hug him, I turns in putting his head on my breast. Letting loose with tears to cleanse his woes. Jason sitting on the arm of the couch, rubbing Christians hair. We will bring him back to sanity and our love.

xxxxxxx

The fourth Christmas comes much better than the last few. Jason jammed a wedge in the submissive with Susannah betrayal, Welch discovery of the Bitch Troll's betrayal. Cemented the fracture of that evil woman from his life.

Everything was headed to a normal till Elliott brought the Male escort slash stripper to Grey House. That led to the brawl at Grey Manor. Christian came home and played his piano till his fingers bleed.

Despite that, the new year herald's a shining hopeful note. I get Jason and Luke to spend more time doing Guy things.

I get Andrea to smack Elliott up side his thick head; and direct his action to beneficial pursuits. They began to go to ball games, beer nights out and best of all no new submissive and no Bitch Troll. Jason helps him grow, work out his frustration he used to beat his submissive to attain.

He even accepts Elliott movie night meeting. I moderate the movies otherwise Christian would have stop it. He is surprising me not one bit is in love with Musicals. He loved the Rogers & Hammerstein collection. It surprised me the one he most liked and hide from Elliot was Carousel's. He is most in love with the 1956, starring Gordon MacRae and Shirley Jones.

I find it strangle fitting this tale: The 1945 adapted of Ferenc Molnar 1909 play Liliom, transplanting its Budapest setting to the Maine coastline. The story of Carousel barker Billy Bigelow, whose romance with millworker Julie Jordan comes at the price of both their jobs. He participates in a robbery to provide for Julie and their unborn child; after it goes tragically wrong, Billy stabs himself with his knife; Julie arrives just in time for him to say his last words to her and die.

He is given a chance to make things right. Billy can get himself into heaven if he helps his self-loathing outcast daughter, Louise. After Louise woes and trails, at her graduation the keynote speaker Dr. Sheldon advises the graduating class not to rely on their parents' success or be held back by their failure they all sing "You'll Never Walk Alone". Is sung: Billy, invisible, whispers to Louise, telling her to believe Seldon's words, when she tentatively reaches out to another girl, she learns she does not have to be an outcast. Billy goes to Julie, telling her at last that he loved her. As his widow and daughter join in the singing, Starkeeper grants Billy's heavenly reward. (Wikipedia)

I catch him singing the musical songs: when he thinks no one can hear him. His beautiful tenor voice lightens my heart with "If I Loved You", "June Is Bustin' Out All Over". I cry when I hear him nearly whispering sing watching the movie "You'll Never Walk Alone" I can hear the longing in his voice to believe someone out there is waiting for him.

I stand in the media room, as the film plays. The Starkeepers words as Dr. Sheldon. Shakes me how did I get here; was I watching the film. Why does Anastasia Face float over Louise? I believe Grace is right she is his one. I smile walking back to check the muffins, I pull my phone; Jerry and the Pacemakers British version blare. I sing along, I've memorized the words:

When you walk through a storm  
Hold your head up high  
And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm  
There's a golden sky  
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind  
Walk on through the rain  
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on  
With hope in your heart  
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on  
With hope in your heart  
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone Songwriters: Oscar Hammerstein II / Richard Rodgers

I pull the muffins out, dancing to the words and my heart lift. He will never walk alone again. I feel arms around me, looking up into the window. No one is there. I start to look away. I see a ghostly image of man and woman surrounding me. I look in the window glass I see Christian and Anna dancing around the kitchen making breakfast. Him in pajama bottoms; Anna in a dress shirt, all Shania Twain. I see my mother and husband smiling at me; with a vision of Jason, Christian, Anna, and me eating dinner. laughing and having simple fun. I set the muffins down and hug myself in glee. Was these vision of thing to come? Hopefully dreams. I hope they are. Because, somewhere up in heaven a Starkeeper is granting wings to an angel. They just have to wake up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anna-pov

I scream in frustration. "Please Wanda baby, just a few more blocks. Please baby." Five miles from the exit to downtown, Wanda coughs and backfires and goes madding slide into lower and lower speeds. Why did Kate's BMW have to blow a radiator this morning? I barely make the exist, As Wanda refuses to break forty-MPH.

The city is even worse, the pedal is flat to the floor. And still she creeps. Just creeps, I plead, beg, threaten, pray and scream. I'm bouncing in frustration and I can barely get her to do 15mph. I take nearly a block to get there. "Please Wanda! Just a few blocks. Then you can rest. I'll even get you a nice car wash and wax." I look in the mirror.

To make this even worse, an asshole is tailgating me, screaming at me; making me nervous. "Back off ASSHOLE! I'm trying my best." I curse him, I can hear his cursing me: does he not realize both of our windows are down? His by choice in that expensive sports car. Mine is stuck open since Tumwater on Interstate-five. I'm soaked by the thunder storm near off ramp for Ft. Lewis.

This day is getting worse and worse. I bet the asshole CEO I have to interview because my roommate caught a cold from her Yoga class or maybe the last boyfriend and theirs bar-crawl Saturday. Worse and worse, just like the conceded asshole riding my bumper. I see the right street ahead.

"one more block, baby. Please one more block." Shit the light turns yellow. I pull to a stop. The light turns red. I see a monster SUV charge into traffic, side swipes a car and heads right for me. ME! All the training Ray taught me kicks in. I floor the gas pedal. Right hand for the seatbelt release. Left on the door handle.

Shit they both stick, GOD PLEASE! I slam my shoulder against the door. I see the contact is coming, it will crush the VW Bug to a shoe box. I have to get out of here.

CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I look up at the grey clouds, tinted red. I hear gun fire. Like Ray at the gun range. I wonder what is happening. My leg hurt, my shoulder hurts. I HURT!

I look thru the red tint into an Adonis with puppy dog eyes of grey, deep green speckled grey eyes. His arms hold, me. lift me. He sees inside my soul. We are met to be. I feel everything and crave the man holding me. The pain has disappeared.

Touching his chest and face. Whispering words of wonder and love. I see a rugged man, like Ray. He is screaming. What his he saying? I think something about cover. I look at the monster SUV. Men are shooting at us. I look into his grey eyes. "Duck."

He lowers us and duck walks to behind the sports car. A blonde guy, pulls us behind another SUV. My man, is lost in my eyes. Blonde guy with gun. Steps on the side walk. The cannon in his hand flares and spits a large fire ball. I know someone is dead.

My man rises and walks onto the sidewalk: We pass the dead gunman. He carried me across the street; past the carnage. I see the bright three-foot letters of 'Grey House'. I giggle, my man smiles and kiss me again. I am supposed to be here to interview the CEO. I don't care. I just want my man to kiss me and love me.

I want him to feel my love. We walk thru the madhouse of the lobby. We enter an elevator; people are screaming at us. I don't understand or care. My man is holding me, whispering word of love and forever.

We arrive on a high floor, I feel everyone's stunned silence. I rub his chest to help him thru the pain in his eyes. We sit on a very expensive white sofa. Dripping blood; A blonde enters with a large first-aid kit. Perfect ice princess stepford wife model. followed by a Fiery red head in a very expensive power suit.

We are dripping blood on the white sofa. Neither seem to care. I ignore them. Touching and holding my man. I feel strange air bags (plastic air splints) surround my legs. The ache lessens. The red head wipes his face and the blonde wipes mine. She finishes and goes somewhere, I don't know where. He is even more fine-looking, even with only half his face cleaned. I touch his clean face. Pulling him down into a kiss.

We whisper secrets and dreams. Lost in his eyes and heart open soul. The Red headed woman stands, moving toward the yelling man, holding my purse and phone. I don't care: I don't want to move from this heavenly embrace.

I hear the red headed power suit "They are talking like lovers, who is she and why have we not met her before?" I zone out forgetting the world. It's just us. My lover and me.

Xxxxx

We soar over the city, like birds: are we dead, angels floating higher and higher. We drop and I worry are we purgatory bound? No, it's a hospital; we must be alive but damaged. I feel his heart beat in sync with mine. We exist the Helicopter. What did Ray call them? Oh yea? Dust-offs. We just got dust-off-ed, medevacked, Aerial Ambulance. 

My man wants to carry me inside. The white coats and the people wearing green, like on Grey Anatomy. Or the goofy show we love. Scrubs, yea! The green things are scrubs; what hospital workers wear. I smile, he smiles and melts my heart.

"put me on the table" he kisses me, laying me on the gurney. As I am wheeled off the landing pad. I feel the distance; the pain and loneliness. A mask turns the lights off. I feel him, I must get to him. I must be near him. I can't calm down; till he is near enough to feel my love and devotion. I feel his love and devotion to me. I laugh and smile as we merge and mingle in the ether swirls about us on this Astral plane.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Taylor-pov:

I pace the hallway, Day two is fading into dawn. Welch is pounding our plan for the bitch troll. I watch the two-family Steele and Grey merge into one. Elliott is lost without Kate. Ray is lost without Grace and Mia. Cary, is holding everything together. The adults are more shaken, they seem lost in the past. I dread if they put the pieces together about the playroom and bitch troll.

I walk, looking in the waiting room, Ray is on the floor. Mia and Kate hold him as tears pour. The breaking heart pain of a injured daughter. I leave for some fresh are and check the perimeter security.

Watching the greed avaricious paparazzi, I daydream back about Leia and Susannah. The two submissives that broke Grey. Leia delusions matched his own about the reality he lived in. Susannah the most gold digging, self-serving of all the submissives.

Once caught telling the Bitch troll about a scene. She quickly cut a deal to save her own neck. She never saw the overseas gig as my hand removing her from our lives. She may be able to return to the states in ten or twenty years.

The other submissives folded once their betrayal of Christian was uncovered. I insured they will never darken our door. Several will regret their betrayal forever. Dreams destroyed, like the troll destroyed a frighten fifteen-year-old boy. The digging has turn up a lot of underage boys she has destroyed. Within days she and her evil ex-husband will never harm another boy or girl.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The last day of January; Grey has a meltdown at work. I fear he will call a submissive, go to a club. Jump off the Space Needle. A major merge has tanked, mostly the last strike of the bitch troll's insider information. Another company has swooped in a take the prize. Some eight thousand workers will be starving before the month is finished.

The million aside I know the lost jobs twist a knife in Grey. I believe he blames the loss of a job, the fragile people crashing into homelessness and worse, especial women and their children. As what created him. That drove his mother into prostitution and drugs. That allowed the pimp to torture him.

I follow him as he wanders. He seems unhinged, without thoughts or purpose. He kicks off his shoes, drops his suit coat: jumps in the water's at Montlake Playfields swimming in the remains of his three-thousand-dollar suit under the Portage Bay Viaduct to the Seattle Yacht Club. He has a locker there. He changes into sweats and runs down the road aimlessly.

We after an hour arrive at the Space Needle. Shit! I jump out of the car and chase him. If he boards the Needle: I will need to shot him. He doesn't go to the needle: He walk to the Chihuly Glass Museum.

I follow his slow, snail like pace thru the halls. Inside benches; he sits and stares deeply into the sculptures and art. Like he is hoping the reflections talk to him.

He sits for several hour in the Garden. The Museums closes, I bribe them to let us stay. Gail arrived with food before heading home. I want to go home, have a beer and love my woman. I stand near the exit gate in the garden.

After a while, I take the food to him. We sit and eat. Not talking at all. I see his desperate need for one on one interaction. His hunger for connects is overbearing in the night lite glass garden. "Christian, let's go home, Bayern Munich is playing Mainz. We can catch the second half?"

"Ok. Let's go. Sorry about this afternoon." I take his arm and lead him, he seems so lost and broken, a fragile little boy, to the car and home. In the morning the old boss will be back. Shit! I don't want the old boss: I want the new boss he is becoming. Gail is right as usually. We need to fill his off time with normal activities.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Easter Sunday at Grey Manor. The family is in force, including the manic Mia Grey. Gail tease me about her crush on me. Today, she is quietly mute about me. I walk around the grounds making sure the troll doesn't get in. I have Luke at the entrance. My ear buzzes, she jumped the fence and is headed from the south garden area.

Parks backs me up, as I tackle the bitch, cuff her. Stuff my handkerchief in her mouth. I have Parks take her out to the boondocks of Riffe Lake north of Mt. St. Helens. No phone, no money, and no one care how she gets back, or even if she doesn't. I have reached my quota of mercy for this evil thing blighting our lives.

Walking back into the kitchen, wiping off my suit. Mia is staring sadly at me. "Jason, please don't be cheating on Christian." What the hell does that mean?

"What?" I ask

"We see how you guys are going out and doing things. Please know we love you both, your part of the family. If your gay, we don't care: we just want Christian happy." Mia says in honest earnest.

They think I'm Christians Beard? Do I give off that vibe, does Christian, Luke or Parks? I need to stomp this fantasy before she is picking china patterns for our wedding.

"Mia, I am not gay, never have been. None of the guys are. I am marrying Gail in the Fall. We are trying to get your brother into healthier activities."

She tries to process the information. "What was his unhealthy activities?" shit! I forget she has a brain, hidden in pink ruffles. She won't let that bone go. She will be frustrated for sure.

"No comment."

"OMG no! that bitch. Please help him. I need to go" she runs away. What the hell was that about. I look out the window, she runs full clothed into Lake Washington. I run outside to the dock. Large bubbles break the surface.

She comes up and down several times: I think she is screaming underwater. She wades to shore. Looking about. It's only me. "I want her out of my brother's life, and any of her minions. Jason I'm counting on you and Gail to help him and keep my family ignorant."

I'm stunned does she know? "What do you know?"

"I know what she is into, and how she looks at my brother. I fear the leap of faith: I can't make. I don't want to make. It would kill my parents if I killer her and when to jail. I kicked her ass day after New Years day in Nieman's dressing room. Her and two subs. I only look innocent."

"Our you?" I ask afraid of her answer.

"No, but Lily is. and she can't keep her mouth shut about it" she says pissed off.

"I am going to Paris to finish my cooking course. When I return in June, I want her permanently out of his life and I mean forever. Otherwise I will deal with." She says with a look I've never seen on her face. She has a dark side. She never finishes the sentence as she walks away. like her dog, cat, and everyone just suddenly died. The crushing weight of knowledge; your brother is in pain, and your family is on the brink of implosion.

I think the Doc has one two. Her friend Redmond is walking a tightrope. I hope her part of this stay's hidden for Grace's god daughter sake. I watch her enter the house. She is a Grey an she will go all out to protect her family. Her brothers.

Xxxxxxx

As day four takes off, Welch has put in motion something that should remove the Lincolns'. Several groups of parents are anonymously informed of the Lincoln assault on their families. Several of her former under age submissive suicided. The parents are very unstable. We will try to keep them out of jail.

I watch the Lincoln house. As the parents converge. I see an underage naked, beaten boy hustle to a car. Several Parents come out and high five. I wonder what is going on. The police arrive and began to rope off the area. I drive around the block, taking a farther away watching position. Luke updates me, the Doc is leaving Redmond's club; she beat the shit out of her former friend. Broke the heart of her goddaughter. I have Welch move them out of the state, and remove the club.

I watch the coroners van arrive, they both must be dead; otherwise an ambulance would be here. I will have to wait for the pictures. No way I am or any of my people or the Grey's are going in there. Not after the mountains I moved to isolate the Grey from this and them. I see a car pull up behind me. I get out and walking around the front of my car intercept Grace and forces her back into the car with Luke. He drives us to Grey Manor. I had Welch send Cary to the house.

After getting them settled. I meet Welch, SPD deputy chief of Detectives in a coffee shop around the corner from SPD-HQ. He passes a cell phone with crime scene pictures. I smile, Linc is strung up, gagged and beaten; looked like all night. Eliana did that I am sure and so are the cops. Eliana is laying over the whipping sawhorse. A bright smile on her face; To bad her head ends jaggedly behind her ears. The rest is splatter across the St. Andrew Cross and Chesterfield Sofa.

The gun lay next to her, clearly, she ate the gun, a massive 357… Linc has a massive hole in his chest, you can see the stippling. I smile at their demise. I want to laugh at her crushing reality that her sin's have found her and exacted karma.

"The witness says, they enter the dungeon. Eliana was whipping the boy. Most of the parents rescued the boy. Eliana produced the pistol, its register to Linc. She backed them to the door. Shot Linc, then started a rant at them. How she saved their wrenched sons. She back up as they started for her. She stuck the gun in her mouth, you can see the damage of 357\. Magnum pre-fragment-soft-lead-hollow-points. They left the house and called the police. The first group had called the police about the boy."

"A now?" Welch asks.

"The parents are cleared; a camera system was on in the dungeon. It shows their version. They walk. The city and everyone will bury this nightmare. The Lincoln estates will be liquidated and disturbed to the victims. Strangle four of the parents are demanding the cremated remain of the Lincolns. I have reliably heard talk of a cesspool of a diary down near Tillamook in Oregon. The DA is disposed to grant the request." SPD says

"This closes the doors. The Grey name get tied to this. You understand how we will react." Welch makes a threat. Even I fear from his tone and meaning. The SPD chief takes our meaning to heart, nearly pissing himself. Agreeing and leaves a fast as possible. I expected him to run to the headquarters building three miles away, then slow down to get his car. He drives away.

"Now what?"

"I have a couple of friends to clean any loose ends. The fifteen are gone, the trolls, and Redmond is already landing in Austin, Texas to start anew life as a college romantic language professor. I arranged the daughter to an exclusive all girls Montessori High School. Grace is mad right now, later she will make amends to the daughter for sure, the mother possibly never."

I nod, Grace really doesn't blame the children for the sins of the parents. She will make amends to her Goddaughter. I rise to leave.

"Jason, you guys have done a damm good job. Everything the best we could. Grey doesn't need to ever know about your coup de 'tate."

"If he asks, I wouldn't lie or sugar coat it. but something tells me: he never will ask. He will be too busy moving forward with Anna." I turn and leave. first to update Gail and then the parents and Mia.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Day six:

We ride up to the floor with lunch. Gail and Luke are joking about Mia Grey's sudden obsession with one Luke Sawyer. The Elevator doors open to a madhouse of screams and noise. Luke and I rush down the hall, past the nurse station, sliding into the cross hallway to where the Grey's are. I hesitate for a second before drawing my gun and clubbing the attackers. I see cameras and video recorder scatter the floor. At least fifteen men are in various state of injury and fight.

Ray power slams a burly fat goatee asshole near thru the floor. Elliott is elbow and knees in the that savage Legionnaire Savate close combat style. Mia has a female dressed as a nurse kneeing her face into pulp. I notice all the attackers are dressed like staff and patients. Roz and her wife are hammering assholes with metal bedpans.

Cary has another fat guy, this one ponytail against a wall, slamming forearms to his ribs. Grace has another female dressed as patient ripping her hair out. Kate has a young guy maybe twenty in a vicious tendon tearing arm bar, twisting it. Parks is on his knees grabbing a guy's legs. His head is bleeding. Luke wades thru the crowd, clubbing down assholes till he gets to Parks. I find Lewis my other CPO on the floor, the taser probes still in his chest. I hear a scream behind me. Gail is Tae Bo-ing some asshole dressed as a doctor. I smile.

It takes only a few more minutes before the paparazzi horde is on the floor, secured and waiting transportation to the ER and then to a out of town hospital: because they are damm sure not staying here.

Xxxxxxxxx

Mia pov

I watch my brother play the piano, I sit playing with my doll. Tomorrow I go to kindergarten. I enjoyed the half days of Preschool. The Teachers are shocked how advanced I am. I smile, listen to Christian play just for me. Mommy will be mad, I stayed up; but he had a nightmare, and playing helps him get back to sleep.

"What's the song?"

"Grieg - Nocturne 54 op 4"

"Why so sad?"

"I just am."

"Elliott says your remembering your birth mother, and the bad times before us."

"Lliott talks too much."

"so, it's true?'

"yes."

"will you play something happy? for me?

"ok, but you can't tell anyone ok?"

"Pinky swear."

"pinky swear" Christian hooks my pinky. And kisses my head.

"remember it our secret." He smirks and softly plays, then he sings to me. I stare awe struck. My brother loves me.

Stars shining bright above you  
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"  
Birds singing in the sycamore trees  
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me  
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me  
While I'm alone and blue as can be  
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear  
Still craving your kiss  
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear  
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you  
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you  
But in your dreams whatever they be  
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear  
Still craving your kiss  
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear  
Just saying this

Sweet dreams, till sunbeams find you

Gotta keep dreaming leave all worries behind you  
But in your dreams whatever they be  
You gotta make me a promise, promise to me  
You'll dream, dream a little of me dream a little dream of me. Songwriters: Fabian Andre / Gus Kahn / Wilbur Schwandt

I cry for my brother; I know he never cries. Elliott says because he lost all tears before he became a Grey. We shouldn't push him to cry. We have to be careful touching his chest and back, protect him from mean people. I stand and quick hug him. I am the only Grey who can hug him. I kiss his cheek.

He takes my hand and tucks me in bed. Placing dolly in my arms, kissing my forehead. He leaves, I hear no more music that night. Three weeks go by before he plays after midnight. He never sings again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sit reading to Christian and Anna, a romantic tale about a divorce escaping to Tuscan, finding love and friends. I think Mom has the movies on DVD. Its after midnight on day three well I guess day four now. I stop as I remember the fight.

I was nine-years old, Christian was fifteen. He just got expelled for the third time. I found him drunk in the boat house. It reeked of burn something. like Andre from school before the Child Service people took him away. Elliott called it Pot, or something like that. Mom said his parents neglected him, and used drugs.

"Damm it! Christian! The Child Service people aren't taking you away" I grab the bottle and toss it out the window. He swipes at me. I punch his jaw, like Elliott taught me. he falls on the floor. I kick him in the balls. He grunts and stumbles after me. I run to tell the parents. He stumbles chasing. I burst into the kitchen. **"MOMM! CHRISTIAN IS DRUNK AND DRUGGED!"**

Everyone piles into the kitchen; mom grabs Christian, checking his eyes and smelling his breath. She cries. As Dad take Christian upstairs to his room. Elliott grabs me, holding me. He carries me to the Movieplex in the mall. We watch two movies, one after the other. Then dinner at IHOP. Its near midnight when we get home. I check on Christian, he is sleeping.

I lay in bed, wondering if I did the right thing. Mom comes in and lays with me; explaining how I was helping him. Watching my brother in a coma; I wonder if I did? After the last few months. I worry I forced him to turn to the bitch troll. Did me ratting him out, allow her to hurt him?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I pout at my idiot brother as he tries to ignore me. I sit in the newly complete Grey House. Bugging my idiot brother to come home to his birthday party Saturday. Last year: he claimed a business emergence and left for a week in Taiwan. This year I'm not allowing it; period.

"Christian!"

He looks at me, anger on his face. I worry about him. I know he is very unhappy and lonely. I even needle Jason to see if Elliott supposition of him being gay is correct. I don't care. I really don't; I want to see my happy brother, like before high school. I want my brother to heal.

"Christian you are coming to your party Saturday!"

"I will think about it."

"NO! YOU ARE COMING OR ELSE!" that got his goat. He hates being challenged. He looks like he wants to kill me, cut me up and boil fava beans. But he doesn't intimidate me. I stick my tongue out and roll my eyes.

"Fine, Christian. I am going to stay at Escala. Be with you every minute till we are at Grey Manor celebrating your birthday." That put a look I've never seen. It's almost like I stole his favorite toy. He turns back to his work.

"Fine MIA! I will be there. I promise. You know I don't like celebrating my birthday." He whines like only he can. I stand, walking to him.

I grab his tie, pulling him to my nose. "The party is in your honor, its really for Dad and Mom. They love you and want to show you how much they do." I release his tie.

"They feel obligated, I disappointed them my whole life. They got a dud. Should have given me back. They faking everything." He mutters. I stand shocked, truly shocked at his loathing self-hate.

I stand stunned as Christian looks at me. His face reddened by my slaps. I think I hit him three or four times. I shake with rage. Now can a smart guy like him, not see or feel our unconditional love. How can he believe we feel that way? Where did this hate come from? I want to grab him and hug him till he understands. I want to kick his ass till he crawls to me, begging to be part of the family. What has happened to my brother.

"You will be at the party. You will smile, and accept we love you, care about you. the next time I hear that bullshit about being a dud or we should have sent you back. I will beat you within an inch of your life. And once for all solve your touch issue. AM I CLEAR CHRISTIAN!" I turn a run out of the room, building, city, the damm state.

Till I sit at the riverside park in Portland. I sit watching the ducks and geese move about the Willamette River. I wish I could heal my brother. I wish I could make him not be sad and hurting. Someone must be telling him these things. That the only solution. I can't believe Gail, or Roz. Jason? His he really with Gail, or with Christian. Are one of the others with Christian.

What if it was someone else. He is very closed off, just family and Roz and Gwen. No one else has access to him, to feed this shit. I stare out, lost in reflection on our family. When a fake cougar jogs by in an outfit too tight, too showing, too desperate. Face so stiff she must be near OD'ing on Botox.

Eliana Lincoln! That the only other person who has access to Christian. Would he be hitting that dried up cunt? Did he ever hit that Botox skank? I will watch, be more vigilant before I go to Paris for cooking school.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Something is happening with Christian after the gay fight with Elliott. He makes a effort at Christmas. I really fear he is suicidal. I have never seen him in worst shape. Physical and mental; Gwen called me to voice concerns. She knows I'm the only one who can move the family right now. Everyone is stressed.

I think deep before I return to Paris to complete my degree in cooking. I already finished the hospitality part of the BA, I'm just finishing the culinary requirement. I need to get some thing at Nieman's before I head out. The French capital fashion is great. Their idea of winter coats, gloves, hats and winter leggings are not. I am lost in thought sitting waiting for Carol to return. A trophy wife had a meltdown about her babe bump taking away any flattering dresses.

I sit sipping a glass of white wine. Great Eliana and two girls, looking like twins walks in. She makes a bee line for me. I brace for something. She wasn't at any parties or events over the holiday. I know mom was frustrated at Eliana phone and txt problems. She even asked Christian to have Barney fix it.

I was stunned when he said no. Him telling mom no is rare like never. So, she asked Jason, he said he would look into it. Eliana problem seemed to get worse. I wonder why that thought peaks my mind. I remember my musing in Portland before his birthday last year.

"Mia, I need you to call Christian now and tell him to see me." she barks like I need to scream how high. I sip the wine, looking at her. For the first time I see her pitiful, desperate need to have my brother. Have him how. The twin's smirk and look mean.

"No, if you make appointment with Andrea. I'm sure he will consider it." I see the rage, I hit a sore spot. Is Christian causing this or are his friends making sure this dried-up witch stays away from Christian. She grabs my arm.

I let her pull me up, my right-hand surges up with the pull. I slam her teeth together, with a heel strike to the jaw. I twist her right arm to flip her on her ass. The twins attack me. I punch and kick. An make these skanks regret messing with me.

I don't stop till Carol rushes in. She has security drag away the trash. I sit gulping wine and icing my hand. Botox makes skin like rock. The only nice thing is once distorted by force, aka my fist. Is tend to stay distorted.

"Mia, I am so sorry. They know they are banned from here for non-payment." Carol says. When did she go broke? Why did she go broke? Christian is a silent partner in the Salons, or is he? Who were the twins? Carol is uneasy about that question. I get the cloths and leave; has I drive home. I stop at intersection. A homeless woman is begging.

Thunder claps, the earth opens up and swallow me. I pull over as soon as I can. Tears reap my soul. I know why the twins seemed familiar! I can remember looking at that picture all the time at home. It's on Christian cork-board over his desk. It's Ella his birth mother.

What has Eliana and two skanks that look like Ella mean. I grab my phone. I call an old enemy asking her for coffee. She is also desperate for my friendship and protection. Her and her family have fallen on hard time socially. After her mother's arrest for statuary with a sixteen-year-old girl. Lily will know about Eliana, is she living on the dark side.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Easter Sunday at Grey Manor

I'm home for Easter week. I confront Jason, praying what I know is not tied to Christian.

"OMG no! that bitch. Please help him. I need to go" I need to scream and not alert the family. I do what I always do at home when this happens. I jump in the Lake; scream underwater.

I get control of my rage. Wading ashore. Looking about. It's only Jason.

"I want her out of my brother's life, and any of her minions. Jason I'm counting on you and Gail to help him and keep my family ignorant."

"What do you know?"

"I know what she is into, and how she looks at my brother. I fear the leap of faith: I can't make. I don't want to make. It would kill my parents if I killer her and when to jail. I kicked her ass day after New Years day in Nieman's dressing room. Her and two subs. I only look innocent."

"Our you?" he asks afraid.

"No, but Lily is. and she can't keep her mouth shut about it" I spit out the knowledge

"I am going to Paris to finish my cooking course. When I return in June, I want her permanently out of his life and I mean forever. Otherwise I will deal with."

I can't finish the sentence, if I did. Eliana Lincoln would be dead. I would be on death row. I have to trust my friends to help end this and keep my brother safe. Even from himself. If this comes out how will I keep my family together. The pain is brutal. Worse I have to keep a happy face till I leave Thursday.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Mom, Kate and I are walking back to the rooms, Gail called she sending lunch. The Dad's are with Christian and Anna. Elliott is talking to Parks and Lewis. We smile. Standing outside we are comfortable. Elliott reach around shoving us aside and horde of camera wielding paparazzi rush us. "RAY! DADDY!" I scream murder.

Lewis is closes to them. He goes down, we see the taser probes in his chest. He flops about like a beached fish. I throw myself into the fight. Everyone is fighting. For the first time in days: I feel happy and satisfied. I'm going to town. I smile when I see Jason and Gail. I get so damm horney when Luke gets to me: all controlled violence.

I kiss him deeply. Screw optic and everyone else. I've been relying on him since this started. I know tonight I'm cashing in my V-card. He is everything I want and need.

Once the police and DA sort everything out. We turn to the door, behind which our future lay asleep. Everyone follows Jason into the room. Andrea sits next to Christian. Anna in his arms. Andrea feeds them ice chips. They are awake. We crowd around them. Happily.

Croaking like Kermit "Who are you guys?" Christian asks.

"Annie?" ask Ray.

"I'm sorry who are you?" she says; breaking our hearts.

"Calm down, they have only been awake few minutes. the doctors said they may be scramble for a while once they woke up.

"Christian, Anna these are your family. Ray is your Father Anna. Cary and Grace are yours Christian, with Elliott your brother and Mia, your sister." Andrea says

"Who are you guys?" I ask, afraid, but she's in his arms, petting his chest.

"This is my wife Anna." Christian says. Anna kisses his chin. Loving him with all her heart. We all gape at them.

"isn't that true?" ask Anna at our expressions.

"You're working towards your engagement. Rest. Everyone out!" Gail bellows we heard for the door. I see them looking at each other with such intense love. I can cut it from across the room.

"Anna. I'm Gail, Christian's housekeeper and friend. This is my fiancée Jason. Christian close protection Officer and friend. I will return tonight with doctor approved food. We look forward to your regaining your memories and moving forward in your relationship." Gail hits the nail on the head. We will help them move forward. Luke takes me in his arms. Tomorrow is bright, as my brother is healing and loving and feeling our love. The dark days are gone, best left in the past.

The end.


End file.
